I swallowed.
“Back on the compound, we grew up with Marco’s nephews, Trent and Carter. Carter was around us a lot, but he was the opposite of Trent. He was a loner and never seemed into anything that happened in the compound. Dominic, Trent, and I were practically best friends at one point. The only difference between us was he enjoyed when people were beat up and tortured. When our dad and his uncle made us participate in punishing someone, he loved it, said it helped build character.”
I curled my lip in disgust.
“We hated it too,” Damien said, noting my reaction. “We didn’t want the life our dad had provided for us if it came along with the things we hated. The day our parents were murdered, Dominic and I were going to tell them we wanted to leave, but after they died, I refused to leave. I felt connected to the place since I no longer had them.”
I understood that. His grief made him latch onto the thing his parents cared about most, that poxy compound and horrid lifestyle.
“Trent was bad for me to be around when I was in the state of mind of wanting to feel no pain, the only person who glanced me out was Nala.”
I exhaled a breath. “Nala?”
“My girlfriend at the time,” Damien said then quickly added, “I don’t want to hurt you by talking about her, but you need to hear about her to understand everything. To understand me.”
In that moment, I was so thankful that I didn't give Barbara the name Nala.
“I told you, don’t dilute anythin’.”
Damien nodded. “I met Nala when we were ten. She had just moved into the compound with her dad, and we hit it off straight away. She followed me and Dominic everywhere, and I never minded because I had a crush her. I asked her to date me when we were thirteen, she said yes, and we were together up until she was murdered.”
My hand flung over my mouth.
“Oh, Da-Damien,” I stammered. “I’m so sorry.”
He clasped his hands tighter together.
“Before that happened, we were pretty inseperable, but after my parents died, I began to pull away from her, too. I loved her, or at least as much as a thirteen-year-old could love someone. She took my pulling away from her hard, and Trent was there with his shoulder for her to lean on. Two weeks after my parents died, I was having a really bad day, and Trent made the mistake of kissing Nala. I attacked him and beat the shit out of him. He became hostile and brought my parents into the fight, saying they deserved to be dead for what they had done. He wished I was dead along with them, and that caused Dominic to snap. It was the first time I saw him fight, and it scared me how hard and fast he could hit another person.”
My stomach fluttered with nerves.
“I was annoyed with Dominic for stepping in to defend me when I could do it myself, so I got him off Trent and intended to whoop him on my own, but he pulled a gun. If Nala hadn’t jumped on Trent’s back to distract him, he would have shot me. I saw it in his eyes, he was going to do it. I got the gun from him, thanks to Nala.”
He clenched his teeth together.
“When I think about that night, I can still hear Dominic plead and cry with me to throw the gun away because we weren’t our dad, and I wished I had listened to him. Because what I did ruined my brothers’ lives. I shot Trent, and when he hit the ground, he stopped moving. Blood was everywhere, and shit passed by in a blur after that.”
I began to chew on my nails.
“I knew what I had done would mean I would have to die. That’s just how it works, a life for a life. At the time, I was prepared to accept that. I felt so torn up over my parents, over the fact that I had turned out just like my dad, that I was willing to die just to escape everything. Ryder met with Marco, and I wasn’t dumb as to what it was about. If Marco killed me, he knew my brothers would retaliate, so they both discussed it until they reached a decision.”
“The life debt,” I concluded. “Morgan said your brothers started to work for Marco to pay off your life debt.”
“Yes,” Damien answered. “They cut me out of the deal to protect me.”
The resentment in his tone surprised me.
“You’re disappointed you couldn’t have a dangerous job?”
“No,” he answered. “I was disappointed that my brothers put their lives on the line to protect me and didn’t give me a chance to pay off the debt I brought upon us myself. That was the day I stopped being a brother.”