Damien didn’t object to us leaving the room. I think he needed to clear his head too, which was why he didn’t fight for more to happen between us at that moment. I always thought he was level-headed, but for some reason, he seemed to give in to his instincts around me, just like I gave in to mine when I was with him.
I didn’t know what to make of it.
“Do you want some tea?” he asked as we neared the kitchen. “I turned the kettle on.”
I chuckled.
“What’s so funny?” he asked, and I heard the smile in his voice.
I entered the kitchen, leaned against the counter, and folded my arms across my chest as I turned to face him.
“Askin’ if me or the girls want some tea is somethin’ you and your brothers say a lot,” I mused. “I think you’ve all been corrupted.”
“Tea calms you women down,” Damien teased. “That’s the only reason we offer it so much.”
I smiled and shook my head, amused. I watched as Damien made me a cup of tea, and I was surprised when he added three sugars and just the right amount of milk without needing to be told. I wondered if he’d watched me make myself tea in Branna or Bronagh’s house before. The idea of him observing me caused a shiver to run the length of my spine.
I grabbed some biscuits and plates while Damien made himself a cup of tea too, then carried both cups into the sitting room. Once everything was sat on my coffee table, I turned on the television and busied myself with it for something to do. I was suddenly very aware that Damien was in my apartment, and I didn’t know what to think or how to feel about it. For the longest time, I had been so keen on blocking him out, but tonight, I didn’t want that.
I wanted him there.
“Alannah?”
I startled. “Yeah?”
“Talk to me,” Damien said, flattening his hands on his thick thighs. “You look like you’re going to freak out.”
“Do I?” I blinked. “I feel fine.”
He raised a brow. “Don’t lie.”
My shoulders slumped as I raised my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them.
“This past week, I’ve been tellin’ meself there was a reason we’ve ended up the way we have,” I began. “I have to remind meself of what happened between us; otherwise, I’ll do somethin’ stupid.”
“Something stupid ... like kissing me back when I kiss you?”
I swallowed. “Precisely.”
“Alannah.” Damien sighed as he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “I’m going to wait until you’ve had time to absorb your mom’s news, but I want you to know that what happened between us is our past, but it doesn’t have to be our future.”
I groaned and rested my forehead atop my knees.
“What does that even mean?”
“It means,” he continued, “that things change. People change. Situations change. Just because something bad happened between us before doesn’t mean it’ll happen again.”
That was a mighty big if.
I leaned my head back, resting it on the large cushion behind my back.
“I’m scared,” I said out loud.
“About your mom?”
“About everythin’,” I answered. “Me ma, me business ... you. Just everythin’.”
“Right now, we’ll just focus on your mom. Mending things between us can happen later, and so can dealing with your job.”
I closed my eyes at the mention of work.
“I have an interview with a lad who applied for me assistant job tomorrow. I blew ’im off last week, and I can’t postpone the interview again because I’m worried he’ll bail. He was the only person who applied, and accordin’ to his previous experience, he really knows what he is talking about, and I need that. I need someone to deal with the business side of things so I can sketch and paint.”
“Okay, so once you get the interview out of the way, you can breathe a little better?”
I nodded.
“Then we prep for that,” he said, rubbing his palms together. “What do you need help with?”
I didn’t answer. I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling.
“Why are you ’ere, Damien?”
“I told you in the car,” he answered. “You’re my freckles.”
“I don’t know what that means.”
“It means I’ve got you. Always.”
I looked forward and found him staring at me intently.
“I don’t know why,” I said to him. “I have no idea why you’d want anythin’ to do with me. I’ve been horrible to you from the moment you came back to Ireland.”
“Are you kidding?”
I deadpanned. “Do I look like I’m crackin’ jokes?”
“That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard you say then.”
My mouth dropped open. “Excuse me?”
“To question why I’d want something to do with you doesn’t make sense to me,” he answered. “You weren’t being horrible; you were being guarded. There is a difference.”
I looked down. “I’ve been horribly rude to you.”