“I know, baby.”
When she kissed me, I was so surprised that I didn’t return the kiss for a few seconds, but when I did, it felt like magic. When we separated, I kept my hold on her. I never wanted to let her go again. Without her, I wasn’t complete.
“I want to talk to you about Alec,” I said. “He gave me permission to tell you this. This is something only I know, and by allowing me to tell you, he wants you to know that he loves and trusts you enough to keep this secret between the three of us.”
She reared back. “I don’t wanna know. I don’t wanna keep secrets anymore.”
“This is a secret that you won’t want to share,” I assured her. “It’s only to help you understand my brother and understand the level of love and trust he has for you after everything you have been through with Carter.”
Alannah looked torn but eventually nodded, and said, “Okay.”
“Alec is in his thirties, and he is happy all the time,” I began. “He makes innuendoes, he overreacts about a lot of things, he has shits and giggles about random things that pop into his head. He is different. Have you ever stopped and wondered why?”
She blinked. “No.”
“Out of all my brothers,” I continued. “Alec is the one who deserves to smile and laugh over dumb shit because for a very long time, the bubbly, happy man you know didn’t exist. He was a shell of a person.”
“What?” she whispered. “Why not?”
“He was heavily abused in his line of work.” I swallowed. “He was a prostitute in Marco’s eyes, but he considered himself to be an escort. Most of the time, he had consensual sex on the job. A lot of the time, he didn’t even have to kiss his dates, but some of the time ... he was forced to do things that I don’t want to go into detail about.”
“R-rape?”
“Yes.”
Alannah covered her mouth with her hand.
“It got bad,” I said, my voice tight. “When I was sixteen, a year after the jobs started, Alec was hurt by two men in a way I’ll never be able to get over.”
Alannah paled.
“He always came home late, and this night, I got some midnight snacks when I heard him come in and go up the stairs. He was crying. I had never heard him cry before, so I knew whatever happened to him was bad. I followed him up the stairs after a minute or two, just to see if he was okay and ... he tried to kill himself, Alannah,” I said, pain spreading across my chest like wildfire. “He used a rope, threw it over one of the beams on the ceiling, and put it around his neck. What those men did to him made him want to die.”
“Oh, God.”
“I still don’t know how I got him down or got the rope from around his neck. It’s all a blur, but I’m just happy I was awake when he came home, and that I followed him to see if he was okay.”
Alannah cried for my brother, and I held her.
“He told me everything that had happened to him and made me swear never to tell the others. Not because he didn’t trust them, but because he wanted to save them the pain of knowing.”
“Like ... like you and the others tried to do with me.”
“Yes, because some secrets are best left buried, baby.”
She nodded.
“I’ll never tell,” she swore. “I promise, I’ll never tell. I won’t even speak of it to Alec.”
“I know you won’t.”
“I can’t believe he went through that.”
“All of my brothers have been through hell.”
Alannah was quiet.
“It’s my fault,” I continued. “I ruined their lives because I couldn’t keep my temper in check.”
She looked up at me. “Are ye’ sure he never told Keela about this, though?”
“I’m sure.” I nodded. “When I came back, and when I was on my own with him, he explained that it was a part of his life he wanted to protect her from. Since he couldn’t protect her from the other parts of his life that had bad implications on their relationship.”
“Then why are ye’ tellin’ me?”
“Because he wants you to know just how much he does trust you. He hated how you looked at him the day Carter got in your head; it hurt him to see you scared of him. It’s just ... he was silent for so long, but now he has a reason to be heard. Do you understand?”
“I do.” She nodded. “I really do.”
When she suddenly stood, I looked up at her and frowned.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothin’,” she answered. “I want to go up to Kane’s apartment so we can talk to everyone else.”
I got to my feet. “Are you sure?”
“I’ve never been surer of anythin’ in me life.”