“Marco’s gonna kill me,” I said, wiping my face with my hands. “I have to leave before he sends—”
“He’s not gonna touch you,” Ryder cut me off. “I told you that everything was going to be okay, and I meant it.”
I sniffled. “Trent was his nephew, and I killed him. Marco won’t let me get away with that, Ryder.”
I killed a member of our crew, and I knew the punishment for that. I had a debt to pay, a life for a life. Marco wouldn’t care that I was a kid. He had killed people younger than me for far less.
My brother stepped forward and placed his hand on my shoulder. “We’ve taken care of the problem. You’re safe.”
I looked from Ryder to my other brothers, then back again. “What’d you guys do?”
“We had a meeting with Marco,” Dominic answered. “We made him an offer, and he accepted it. You aren’t in danger.”
I couldn’t comprehend what they were saying, and before I could question them, Ryder pushed me over to my bed and sat me down.
“Ask us questions in a minute,” he said, sitting next to me. “Right now, tell me what happened.”
My mouth went dry. “You know what happened.”
“I know bits and pieces. I want you to tell me exactly what happened.”
I looked down to my feet. “I feel sick about it, Ryder.”
“It was an accident,” Alec stated.
I looked up at him, and said, “But it wasn’t.”
No one spoke.
“I aimed the gun at his chest, and I pulled the trigger because I wanted to kill him for what he said about Mom and Dad. I wanted ... I wanted him to pay for it.”
I looked back down at the floor. My mind kept replaying what happened over and over, but I forced myself not to focus on it. I didn’t want to relive it.
“I wish I hadn’t done it,” I said. “I just got so mad, and my chest hurt when he said Mom and Dad deserved to be dead. I couldn’t think after that.”
I lifted my hands to my face and for a minute or two, complete silence filled the room ... until a sick thought washed over me.
“I’m just like him.”
“Who?” Dominic asked.
I clasped my hands together to stop them from shaking.
“Dad,” I answered. “I always wanted him to love us, to love me, but I knew he was a bad person. I knew he did horrible things, and now so have I. I’m just like him.”
I loved my parents much to my brothers’ resentment. They did not understand how I could love people who didn’t love me back, and neither did I, but I loved them all the same. It shook my entire world when they died, and my brothers knew that.
“No,” Ryder said, turning me to look at him. “No, you aren’t. He did everything he did because he enjoyed it. He was happy. I can see by just looking at you how much you regret what happened, bud. You aren’t like him. You aren’t even close.”
I swallowed and inhaled a deep breath before I started speaking.
“Trent kissed Nala. I knew he had a crush on her, and it pissed me off that he would try to move in on her. I thought he was my friend.” I shook my head. “He smiled when I jumped him; it was like he knew I wanted to fight, and I was more than happy to give him what he wanted. I haven’t been feeling like myself since Mom and Dad died, so I wanted to take out all of the pain I felt on Trent.”
I paused to wipe my nose.
“When he said they deserved to be dead because they were traitors, my mind just snapped. I can’t remember much after that. I just know I was holding the gun and pulling the trigger because I wanted to. I wanted to kill him, but when he fell to the ground and I saw the blood, I instantly regretted everything. I’m a murderer.”
“Stop it,” Dominic suddenly snapped. “Just stop. You’re a good person. You didn’t plan to hurt Trent; it just happened because he provoked you.”
That didn’t make me feel better, but I nodded to keep my brothers happy.
“What did you mean when you said you took care of things with Marco?” I asked Ryder.
“We offered to work for him to work off your debt, and he agreed. You won’t be hurt.”
Dread washed over me.
“What work will you have to do?”
“Business kind,” Kane answered. “We don’t know all the details yet, but we’ll all be in this together, so don’t worry about a thing.”
Don’t worry? How the fuck could I not worry? This was all my fault, and they wanted me not to worry.
“I want to work—”
“No,” Ryder cut me off. “You’re not involved.”
“Not involved?” I repeated. “This is all because of me.”