I suck in a nervous breath, my fingers twitching at my side as my stomach swirls with butterflies. “Yes, a deal,” I tell him, momentarily finding it hard to meet either of their stares.
“Go on …” Cruz mumbles, his voice low as he leans back and watches me closely, probably just as curious as King. Either that or they’re both anxious about what kind of ridiculous bullshit is about to come flying out of my mouth.
“Okay, so I want to be straight with you both,” I start, raising my chin and going for it. “I think it’s pretty damn clear that I’ve been messing around with you both and I don’t want to stop being with either of you. You’re both …” I roll my eyes, hating to have to admit it out loud, “Well you’re both kinda awesome.”
“Just figuring this out now?” Cruz smirks.
I can’t help but laugh, his comment helping to ease the burning nerves deep inside of me. “Shut up,” I groan, swatting at his strong chest. “If I don’t get this out now, I don’t think I’ll ever find the nerve.”
“Nerve?” King questions. “Why do you need nerve? How fucking bad is it?”
“Oh, it’s bad,” I say with a cringe. “Especially if you guys aren’t on board, then all I’ve done is make myself sound like a desperate, cheap whore.”
Cruz’s fingers tighten on my waist as a smile kicks up the side of his mouth. “But I like it when you’re being a desperate whore.”
I let out an irritated huff and King instantly gets me back on track. “Hit us with it,” he says. “You’re a fucking queen, Winter. After what you just let me do to your tight ass, there’s nothing you could do or say that would make me think less of you.”
My cheeks flame with the memory and I realize that if I can offer myself up to them like that, then there’s no good reason why I should be nervous about this. “Okay,” I say, meeting their curious stares. “So, here’s the thing; I’m not down to be someone’s girlfriend and something tells me that neither of you are looking for that anyway.”
King shakes his head, agreeing with my assumptions as Cruz’s lips pull into a tight line, making me question if that’s really what he wants.
I watch their faces closely and continue. “I don’t want to hurt anyone or put any sort of strain on your friendship. So, please, only agree to this if you think it could work, but if you’re not down, I’ll back off, and you’ll never hear about it again.”
King straightens, his eyes narrowing further by the second. “Spit it out, Winter. What’s your deal?” he says, his tone suggesting that if I don’t get on with it, he’ll happily force it out.
I swallow back the lump that threatens to rise in my throat, the nerves instantly pulsing through my body again. “I was toying with the idea of …” Fuck me. “Sharing?”
“Sharing?” Cruz questions, his eyes narrowing in confusion as he glances at his friend for a long moment. His gaze slowly scans back to mine, his face completely blank, making it nearly impossible to get a read on him. “What exactly does sharing mean?”
“Well, I … uhh … I don’t exactly know,” I admit, the dread heavily sinking into my stomach. “I can’t say that I’ve ever done this before, but I mean ... how would you feel about the idea of me being with both of you?”
“How do you mean?” Cruz asks. “One night you’re with me and the next you’re in his bed?”
I meet his stare, nervously biting down on my bottom lip. “I mean … is that going to be a problem?” I ask. “We’ll be free to fuck whenever we’re down, but no jealousy or hating on each other, otherwise it won’t work.”
Cruz lets out a breath, looking out over my shoulder at King, both of them deep in thought despite the easy, supportive smile that pulls at the corners of his mouth. “I feel so used.”
My eyes widen and I suck in a gasp as I press into him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel like that, I just—”
“Chill out, babe,” he laughs, taking my waist and pulling me in as King steps in behind me. “I’m fucking with you. I think I like the idea. I see the way you look at us, Carver too,” he tells me. “I’m not going to lie, I’d love to have you all to myself, but I can’t deny just how intriguing this whole sharing thing sounds. If we all make you happy in some sort of way, then who the fuck am I to say no?”
I beam up at him, feeling the nervousness fading away. “Are you sure? You’re really down?”