We never went all the way.
But now? Now I’m prepared to go to the ends of the earth to win her back.
“What the fuck?” Her dumbass boy toy, or whoever the shit he is, Tommy, flicks on the lights in the hall, shouting at us. “What the hell, Autumn? You keep your knees closed for me but five seconds in and you’ll let this jarhead face-fuck you?”
I lift my eyebrows. What the hell is he thinking, yelling at my girl like this?
“You can’t talk to Autumn that way,” I say, stepping towards him.
“Who the hell do you think you are? Telling me what I can and can’t do?” Tommy yells.
“She can tell you herself,” I say, stepping out of the hallway and into the living room.
“Tell him what?” Lindy asks, Grayson following her. I see the table has been set — it looks so damn nice; perfect, really, and I hate the idea of ruining any of this hard work.
Hell, it’s what I always do, isn’t it? Ruin the good things the world offers me?
“Mom,” Autumn says, wiping the tears from her eyes. “I’m sorry, this is totally out of character, and I don’t want to ruin your day …”
“What’s going on?” Grayson asks, looking at me. “What happened?”
“I’m in love,” Autumn says. Her words are so soft, so tender and sweet that my hard heart shatters, but not in a broken way — in a bigger way. There isn’t just one thing to love about Autumn — there are a million ways to love her. A million pieces of glass that aren’t sharp, they are clear. You can see through the shards and at the center is her pure heart.
She knew what she wanted at eighteen and I was a fool to doubt her clarity.
She knew.
She knows.
She fucking loves me.
“I love you too,” I say, turning to her. “I fucked it up before but I won’t again.”
“I know,” she says. She believes in me with a faith I don’t deserve, but hell, it’s the kind of faith I need.
Her.
“You love this asshole?” Tommy asks, his eyes flashing with anger.
“I do,” she says plainly, without apology. “I’m sorry to have ruined your day, but it’s never going to happen. It never was going to happen. I’ve loved Russet for as long as I’ve known what love could be.”
“This is fucked up,” Tommy says, grabbing his coat. He pulls open the door, and before he leaves, he turns to Lindy. “Thanks, for having me. You’re solid, Ms. Wood, but your daughter?” He shakes his head. “She’s a tease.”
He leaves, and the room goes silent.
I want to pull Autumn into my arms, to hold her against me and never let go, but Grayson and Lindy are staring at us, shocked and confused, and they deserve an explanation.
“Well for goodness sakes,” Lindy says. “Dinner is ready. Come eat, and explain yourselves.”
We sit down, the four of us, Autumn and I across from one another, Lindy between us. Tommy’s empty chair an eyesore. Grayson stands and removes it from the table, the plate and silverware too, because it’s awkward as hell just sitting there like that.
“This looks so good, Mom,” Grayson says as we begin passing platters of food around. No one replies and I know everyone is just trying to wrap their minds around the fight that just took place in the living room. Tension was high and I was this close to punching Tommy if he said one more shitty thing.
I’m glad it didn’t come to that. For all of the Woods. They don’t need my bullshit.
Once our plates are piled high with fresh cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes, stuffing — the works — Lindy tells us to hold hands and bow our heads.
Lindy’s hand is warm in mine, and she squeezes it ever so lightly. “Dear Lord, thank you for bringing us together today, and for helping remind us what truly matters. Amen.”
“Amen,” we repeat. None of us are exactly religious, but today, I guess, there is a higher power at work. Somewhere, somehow, here I am. Holding Autumn’s hand and knowing she loves me the way I love her.
There is plenty to be grateful for.
“So,” Grayson says, looking between his sister and me. “So you guys are in love?”
I look across the table at Autumn. Her eyes are bright and so damn beautiful. Turning to my oldest friend, I ask, “Is there going to be a problem with that?”
Grayson exchanges a look with his mother. “If you hurt her, yeah.”
“I won’t. I mean, I won’t ever again.”
Grayson’s eyebrows knit together. “You saying you’ve hurt my little sister before?”
My jaw tightens, I set down my fork. “Yeah, before I left for the Marines, I pretty much broke Autumn’s heart.”
Lindy gasps. “Is that true, sweetheart?” she asks her daughter. “You and Russet were a thing?”