He holds me, and I know then he is breathing me in too. And I want the room to disappear. For Tommy to have never come and Grayson and Mom to walk into the kitchen, and I want to ask him why he never wrote. Never called. Never tried.
When he steps back, and I look into his eyes, I know the answer to those questions will have to wait. His eyes are already glassy and we’ve hardly said a word.
“I missed you,” I tell him. It’s the simple truth, the heart of it. I’ve missed Russet for four years and I’m tired of waiting for him to come home.
He is here now.
“Oh, sweetheart, you look so nice,” Mom says, giving me a big hug. She purses her lips when she sees Tommy. She isn’t a fan.
“It smells really good, Ms. Wood,” Tommy says, giving her a smile.
She pats him on the shoulder, she may not be thrilled he’ at the table, but she isn’t going to be unkind, it isn’t her way. “I’m glad to hear it Tommy, I’ve been working in the kitchen all morning.”
“I offered to come help,” I say.
“I know, dear, but you know how I am about my kitchen, it’s about the only place in this world I feel like I can relax and have some fun.”
I look at my mother. “You know I love cooking as much as you do, I think I’m gonna have to get my own family if I ever want to make a holiday meal.”
Mom laughs, and she knows it’s true. She’s never going to pass on the apron-baton.
My mom raised us on her own, working at the county courthouse her entire adult life, taking care us and making sure all our needs were met. I’m so lucky to have her.
“Anyways, kids, dinner is ready. Grayson, Tommy, will you help me carry in the food?”
They shuffle into the kitchen and I pull off my coat, hanging it at the end of the hall. When I turn, Russet is there. It’s dark in the hallway, and he steps closer and I can’t think or breathe. I just want. I want him.
Always him.
“I’m sorry, Autumn. For leaving. I’ve missed you. So damn bad.”
“Don’t start this if you aren’t going to finish it,” I say, trying to protect myself.
“I deserve that, and more,” he says, stepping close enough that I could wrap my arms around his neck, sink against his chest. Never let go.
“No you don’t,” I say. “You’re a hero now. And … I never expected you to come back … back for me.”
“I’m here now. And I know what I want.”
I don’t want to cry. Not here, not in front of everyone. I blink furiously, scared of saying too much and having him run off again. I don’t want him to go. I never did.
But also, I don’t want to hide behind the truth, be something I’m not. There is no denying who I am at my core.
His.
“Well, I still want the same things,” I tell him, refusing to get my hopes up. “It hasn’t changed.”
“Before I left,” he says, “you said you wanted to be my wife, to have my babies. You were so young. You really still want the same things?”
I nod.
“I don’t care if it sounds lame. I always believed in you, Russet. In us.”
“And you want to make a life with me?” He wraps an arm around my waist. He is no longer a nineteen year old boy. He is a man. His hands are big, he knows how to hold me. I don’t want him to let me go.
“I want to make you a Thanksgiving dinner in our own house. Mashed potatoes. Plenty of gravy.”
“I’m the one who can give you the real gravy, Autumn.” His mouth is on my ear. The day has changed so quickly. One minute I’m annoyed with Tommy, and the next I am in the arms of the man I love.
“What kind of gravy?” I ask, my heart pounding, my pussy aching. I want Russet. Right now.
“Baby gravy,” he growls. “I want to fill you up with it, girl, so damn bad.”
Then his lips are on mine and I forget about the turkey and the green bean casserole. I forget the candied yams and the buttery rolls.
He kisses me and all I want to taste is his mouth on mine.RussetHer lips are like pillows of mashed potatoes. Fluffy and warm. I kiss her soft, knowing my girl has been hurt enough by me already, and the last thing she needs right now is for me to go rough.
Her lips part, and her tongue finds mine and I melt like butter against her. I’m back to where we were four years ago. Her soft, supple body pressed against mine while we explore one another down by the river.