After drying off, I had a few more swallows of the chardonnay and got dressed for bed knowing I was going to keep that encounter to myself in the morning.
It was my secret.The next day, Willow, Callie, and I went to the café on the property for warm coffee and French toast. It filled me up, but not like I wanted. I could hardly look at my girlfriends, scared they would see in my eyes that something had changed. I figured my sexual awakening was written all over my face.
I had woken a little annoyed, too—why had he ditched me? My self-confidence had begun to wane as I considered the possibilities. Maybe he’d lost interest in me after our time in the sauna.
“Why are you so quiet?” Callie asked, as she took a sip of the dark roast.
“Yeah, you didn’t even tell us about the soaking tubs. Are they worth checking out tonight?” Willow asked.
“Uh, yeah, they were really nice.”
“So you went in a tub?” Callie pressed.
“Oh, uh, no. I went in the sauna, actually.”
“Was it very crowded?” Willow asked, pouring syrup on her French toast. “I hate it when there are a ton of people breathing down my back when I’m trying to relax.”
“Not too busy,” I said, not wanting to say anything more. I didn’t trust myself. And how could I explain what I had done? They probably wouldn’t even believe it.
“So it wasn’t too busy, no one was on top of one another?” Callie asked.
I choked on my coffee. Trying to recover from their confused looks, I sputtered out, “Not on top exactly,” I said. More like, on bottom.
“Okay, well let’s go tonight then. It will feel good after my hike,” Willow said.
“Oh, you have a hike today?” I asked.
“Yep, but there are only three of us signed up so far. Do you want to come?”
“No, that’s not really my thing.”
“Well, I know what you should do today,” Willow went on. “You should find a cute guy and make out. You need a little fun.”
“Make out, huh?”
“Well, it’s not like you’d do much else with a stranger,” Callie said, laughing as she took a bite of the egg-dipped challah bread.
Rolling my eyes, I was reminded of how my friends saw me.
Just then the group of guys, my garden guy included, walked into the cafe. Not wanting to catch his eye—honestly, a little embarrassed after he’d ditched me so fast last night—I looked down and added a packet of sugar to my coffee, stirring aggressively.
“Watch what you’re doing,” Callie whined, as my coffee splashed on her sweater sleeve.
“Sorry,” I said quietly, not daring to look up.
“It’s the guys from the lobby,” Willow said discreetly. “Which one do you like? I honestly would do any of them.”
“When’s the last time you had sex?” Callie asked directly. “Blaine and I fought every night the last few months until we broke up, so it’s been a while.”
“It’s been a dry spell for me, too,” Willow admitted.
“No way,” I said. “You’re the one who always has a good story.”
“I’m not lying,” Willow said. “It’s been at least six weeks. The guys in the city are so boring and redundant. I want someone who will mix things up, do something crazy. Or at least be inventive.”
Callie and I laughed at this, but I was guessing it was for different reasons. If Willow wanted exciting, she should hook up with my garden guy. Not that I wanted her to.
“Well, I think the one with the short blond hair is cute,” Callie admitted. “He’s rugged and athletic—the opposite of Blaine, who wears grungy band tee shirts everyday. Not that I’m interested in guys this weekend,” she clarified once more.
“I know, but we can dream, right?” Willow said, looking in the guys’ direction as they sat down. “The one with the dark hair is totally checking you out, Court.”
I eked out an “Oh, yeah?” but still didn’t dare look up. If only she knew what he had already checked out.
“Well, he’s all yours. I’d do either of the other guys,” she said, laughing. “Man, when did we all get so horny?”
“I have a massage in a few hours, so what are you gonna do all alone, Courtney?” Callie asked.
“Umm, I don’t know,” I admitted. “Maybe take a nap?” I imagined a quiet cabin and the vibe I packed. My sexual awakening seemed to have dimmed in the light of day, and I couldn’t even make eye contact with my guy. Maybe I wasn’t as adventurous as I’d imagined.
If my pussy was going to get any more action, it would likely have to be whatever I provided.Chapter FiveThe afternoon was long, and I didn’t really want to leave the cabin and come face to face with the guy who I now realized had bailed on me. If he’d wanted me to touch him, he would have stayed around and let me.