“I didn’t lie—”
“You lied by omission, and these excuses aren’t helping your case.”
“They aren’t excuses, Derek. Look, I apologized and I meant it. Can you please forgive me so we can move on?”
He stared me down, his eyes devoid of all emotion.
“Derek?” I could not lose him over this. After everything we’d been through, this could not be the thing that broke us. “I love you with my whole being, and you know that.” My eyes started to water when I wished they wouldn’t. “I love you…in a way I can’t even explain. I’d give my life for you. I made a mistake, just like you’ve made mistakes, and we need to forgive and forget. Okay?”
He shook his head. “I don’t forgive you. I’m still mad. I’m still really fucking mad.”
My eyes started to water more.
“But I’ll move on…because I don’t know what else to do.”
I closed my eyes automatically, feeling the rush of relief his words gave me. It was a fight, a fight that divided us, but not a fight that would break us.
He pulled back his sleeve and looked at his watch. “We’ve got to go. If we don’t leave now, we’ll never make this stupid fucking dinner.”29DerekThe wedding rehearsal was on the rooftop of Ryan’s building.
It wasn’t as fancy as mine had been, but it reminded me of that night. There were no strands of lights and big vases of flowers, and the air was cold rather than warm, but it was still under the night sky—and it left a bad taste in my mouth.
I knew Ryan would have done something else if he could afford it, but using the rooftop was free, so I couldn’t blame him.
We opened the door and stepped onto the patio. Everyone was already there, their families and friends, and Emerson and I were late because I’d stayed at the lab too long…because of our fight that came out of nowhere.
Emerson was in a long-sleeved sweater dress with knee-high boots, beautiful as always, but I was too angry with her to really appreciate her looks.
Her arm hooked through mine, and before I could take a step forward, she gently turned me toward her so she could look into my face. “I love you.” Her hand moved to my stomach before she changed positions again and cupped the side of my face. In her heels, she was much taller, her lips much closer to mine than usual. “This night will pass, and it’ll be over. And these hard times will turn into good times again. And we’ll spend our lives together…and be happy.”
I knew she was trying to make me feel better, and it was somewhat successful because I wasn’t quite as angry as I’d been before. My arm moved around her waist, and I pulled her in so I could kiss her, kiss her for the first time in nearly a week. “I love you too.”
She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me, her face moving into my chest, holding on to me like she lived for my affection.
I pressed a kiss to her forehead and let her go as Ryan walked up.
“Hey, man.” Ryan hugged me and patted me on the back. “You shouldn’t be allowed to wear a leather jacket. You look too hot.”
“He does,” Emerson said as she rubbed my arm.
“I wouldn’t have had to wear a jacket if you’d had this inside.” I didn’t mean to make a jab, but it just came out.
Thankfully, Ryan didn’t take it that way. He turned to Emerson. “Nice to see you again.” He gave her a hug. “The space heaters were just turned on, so it should warm up pretty quickly. But I’m sure this hunk can keep you warm.”
Camille came next and hugged us both. “Thank you for coming. I can’t believe I’m finally marrying this man after, what? Almost twenty years? Took you long enough.”
Ryan grabbed her left hand and showed us her ring. “Woman, you know how long it took me to save up for this ring? That’s a $15,000 diamond. Took some time to earn that shit.”
“Well, I would have been happy with anything, Ryan. I just want to be with you.”
Ryan’s eyes softened, and he brought her in close for a kiss.
I let them have their privacy and walked away, my arm around Emerson as I guided her through the party. We talked to some of the guys. There were only about twenty people there, so it was a small group, and that meant more intimacy with Kevin than I wanted. I tried not to think about it.
My eyes moved around the patio, and I spotted her.
She was exactly as I remembered, same hairstyle, same colored eyes, same posture. She spoke to one of the other bridesmaids, but when they stepped away, her eyes landed on me.