But watching Lacy stride across Keller land, I knew I couldn’t hold her back either. It had always been so important to her to get out of this small town. She’d talked about living in the city since we were just young kids. I couldn’t be the one to squash that dream. I had to do something.
She was wearing a skirt and T-shirt with white shoes. Her long brown hair was up in some kind of knot on the top of her head. She always mumbled about how plain she thought she looked. But to me, she was beautiful. She was everything I could ever want.
I heard her boots clomp on the steps and walk across the loft until she sat down beside me. We sat there for the longest time, neither one of us talking, only watching the ranch that had been in my family for a hundred years.
She reached for me, but I pulled away. Man, this was going to hurt. “Lacy, we need to talk.”
She looked at me with pity, knowing I was really struggling right now. She no doubt thought it was because of my parents’ death, which was a big part of it, but what was really hurting was the fact of what I was about to do to her.
“What is it, Trent?” she pushed softly.
There’s no way I could drag it out. Heck, I didn’t even know if I was going to be able to force the words out. “Lacy, uh, we need to break up.”
She sat back like I’d slapped her. She was shocked, almost as much as I was for saying it. “What do you mean, break up?” she asked.
I stood up and walked to the middle of the loft. I couldn’t sit next to her and say everything that needed to be said. “We want different things, Lacy.”
She stood up and walked toward me. “We don’t have to leave, Trent. We can stay here.”
And she would’ve too. She would have given up all her dreams of living in the city to stay here in the small town of Forest Grove. Sure, everything would have been fine for a while. But eventually she would have ended up hating me for it. I couldn’t stand in the way of her dreams, no matter how much I wanted and needed her.
“No, Lacy, it’s more than that. We’ve been together since we were in sixth grade. We’ve never even been on a date with anyone else.” Just muttering the words caused me to have stomach cramps and bile to rise in my throat. I knew there was no one else I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, let alone date. “It’s just better if we go ahead and break up now before we do something we can’t take back.”
I must have been convincing, because tears were already forming in her eyes. “Trent?” she questioned me, her voice filled with confusion and anguish.
But I just shook my head, knowing I was doing the right thing, no matter how hard it was. “It’s over, Lacy.”
She ran then. Ran past me, down the stairs and toward the house to her car. It took everything in me to not chase after her and tell her I’d made a mistake. But I stood strong and spent the rest of the night crying in the barn.
I had been eighteen and thought I was doing the right thing. Now I realized how stupid I was. I could have done something different. I could have found an alternate plan. But I didn’t. And now I have to live with it.
But I’m not giving up. She may not be ready to start over, but she was my best friend forever. We were each other’s first loves. We trembled in each other’s arms the first time we made love, experiencing it for the first time together. We shared so many firsts. I have no doubt we can start as friends again. Because I know we are meant to be together.5LacyI was up most of the night thinking about Trent and what he said. I didn’t even let myself think that getting back together with him is a possibility. No matter how handsome he is, I’m not going to put myself through that again.
It’s a good thing my parents are leaving, because if they hear about my refusing to be friends with Trent Keller, they won’t leave at all. They’d be too worried about me.
Of course, I didn’t think they’d be rushing right out the door either. Early this morning, they were off and on their way to the Bahamas before I was even out of my pajamas.
I dressed in a hurry after looking at the calendar my parents gave me before heading out the door. I’ve got guests arriving in under an hour, and one of the Bs in B&B is breakfast. I didn’t even check the night before, but I’m probably going to have to whip up something really quick.