That was the thought that I carried with me all day. It was what kept my temper set at a boiling level. I couldn’t believe he was doing this to me. I couldn’t believe how immature and selfish he was acting. But the worst part was how much I still wanted him.
I didn’t want to. I wanted to have been able to shut off my emotions as soon as I got out of that truck. I wanted to tell myself I didn’t need him. I got along just fine without him before, and I would do it again. Even with the new baby. I would have to tell him the baby was his eventually, of course. It would be fairly obvious considering I had no intentions of putting myself into exile throughout my pregnancy. But I figured if I could handle juggling co-parenting with one man, tossing another into the mix couldn’t be that challenging.
The only thing was, I couldn’t actually make myself feel that way. I didn’t want to be without Vince. And I didn’t want to raise our child alone. I couldn’t stop my heart from longing for him. But the anger was so fresh, so intense. I didn’t know how to handle it. I still wasn’t prepared when he walked through the door to the bar and admitted he was wrong.
I still wanted to be angry. I still wanted to keep myself at a distance and not let myself fall again so I didn’t have to feel more pain. But there he was right in front of me, a bouquet of my favorite flowers interspersed with other delicate blooms sitting on the bar. And he was walking away.
He came just to apologize and ask for my forgiveness. In that moment, my heart opened, and my fear was pushed to the back of my mind. Of course I would forgive him. I could face that risk for him.
“Wait,” I said. Vince stopped and I walked out from behind the bar. I picked up the flowers and ran my finger over one of the soft pink peony blooms. “How did you know these are my favorites?”
A hint of a smile flickered across Vince’s lips. Not a full grin, but more like a breath, a sigh of relief tilting his lips up for just a second. “Nick has gotten them for you for your birthday and when you were sick. I might be an idiot, but I pay attention to things like that.”
I smiled and nodded, then leaned forward to kiss him lightly. I could have melted into the kiss forever, but the sound of clapping from behind me broke through the fog of happiness and love. Pulling away reluctantly, I looked around Vince. Standing at the door were Nick, Darren, and Colby, along with the rest of my staff. They all grinned and cheered, applauding and laughing.
When Nick and Darren gave each other a high five, I cringed and looked at Vince. He shook his head. Taking the flowers from my hand, he put them back on the bar. One arm looped around my waist, and the other came up to cup his hand at the back of my head. He dipped me back and pressed another kiss to my lips, inspiring another round of raucous cheers from our audience.
He brought me back up to my feet, and we laughed, our foreheads rested together.
“Alright,” I said to them, “that’s all for your entertainment this evening. Vince and I are going to the back to talk for a minute. Then I’ll help you heathens.”
This only created another wave of whooping and hollering. Rolling my eyes and laughing, I took the flowers from the bar and led Vince back to my office. We couldn’t stay there for long. The bar was going to fill up soon, and I was down a bartender due to a cold. Not to mention all the whispers and murmuring it would inspire if we stayed behind closed doors for long.
We got into the office, but Vince almost immediately walked out again, telling me he would be right back. He was only gone for a few moments, and when he returned, he was carrying a beer pitcher full of water. He sat it on my desk and nestled my flowers inside. I had to laugh. When he stepped back from the desk and turned to me, I closed the space between us and kissed him again.
Vince’s hands swept around my waist, and I draped my arms over his shoulders to lean into him. There was nothing urgent or rushed about the kiss. We melted into each other, breathing through the kiss and just resting into sharing the same space again. Comfort and contentment settled over me, and it was almost as if I didn’t realize how much I really missed all aspects of Vince until I had it back. It was almost like not realizing how desperately thirsty you are until that first drop of cold water hits your tongue.