His expression was stoic as he watched the movie alongside me. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking, whether he was unaffected or disappointed by my refusal of his offer.
I, on the other hand, couldn’t stop thinking about it, and I wasn’t sure if that would ever change. Would I be able to think about anything else around him ever again?
But the bigger question was: why did I not entertain his suggestion? It wasn’t like I had any other gorgeous men knocking down my door. I trusted Deacon, and I knew he meant well in wanting to “help” me. His intention wasn’t to hurt me. He cared about me and wanted to offer me a safe way to get off without involving a stranger.
I spent the next several minutes making a case to change my mind as the movie played in the background.
My brain went in circles. How exactly did he plan to get me off? Was he going to use his mouth? Stop thinking about it. It would ruin your friendship. But oh my God. What would it be like? As uncomfortable as I was, I could feel myself getting wet at the thought of what might’ve been.
It was past midnight now. The movie was nearing the end. When I looked over at Deacon this time, I realized he hadn’t been staring at the screen. He was looking at me.
When he realized I’d caught him staring, he started to apologize. “I’m sorry if I fucked up, Carys. I—”
“I want it,” I blurted.
His jaw fell. “You want…what?”
My breathing was erratic. “You’re gonna make me say it?”
He straightened in his seat. “Yeah. I need to hear you say it.”
My words came out in a whisper. “I want you to make me come.”
His breath hitched. “You sure?”
I looked into his eyes so he knew I was serious. “Yes.”
His breathing grew heavier. Now I had no doubt he was turned on. It wasn’t just me.
“You have to promise me something,” he said, turning his whole body toward me.
“Okay,” I said shakily, my palms sweating, so nervous but wanting him more by the second.
“Don’t overthink it. Just lie back and relax. Don’t think about anything but enjoying it. And after you come, I’m gonna leave. No awkward talk. I’m gonna pleasure you, and that’s all there is to it. And when we see each other again, we don’t need to talk about it or analyze it. Promise me that first.”
Beyond the point of no return, I would have agreed to just about any terms now. “I promise.”
“Good. Because turning something that’s supposed to make you feel good into something that makes you anxious or worried is counterproductive.”
“I get what you’re saying.” Trying hard to reassure him, I nodded. “I’m good.”
Looking deeply into my eyes, he confirmed it one last time. “You sure?”
“Yes.”
After a long pause he finally said, “Let’s go to your room.”
He stood, reaching out his hand. With my heart pounding in my chest, I took hold of him as he led me into my dark bedroom. He didn’t turn on the lights, but there was enough light coming in through the window to see him.
Is this really happening?
My knees shook as I sat down on the bed, feeling a mix of nervousness and excitement, the muscles between my legs giving new meaning to the term eager beaver. I had no idea what Deacon was going to do to me; I just knew I was going to let him do it and that my body was incredibly excited, as nervous as I was.
Apparently my nerves were obvious.
He placed his hand on my legs to still them. “You okay?”
“Yes, I promise. I am.”
His voice was low and gravelly. “Is there anything that’s off limits? Anywhere you don’t want me to touch you or anything you don’t want me to do?”
His words alone were unraveling me, never mind anything he might do.
“No. Do anything you want.”
He closed his eyes briefly, as if to compose himself. Standing at the side of my bed, he whispered, “Lie back.”
Deacon’s eyes were glassy as he looked down at me. He placed his large, warm hand on my stomach and moved it lower to pull down my leggings. After he slid them off, goosebumps peppered the skin on my thighs.
He sat at the edge of the bed as he rubbed my legs. “You’re cold. Let’s warm you up.”
As he ran his calloused palm along my legs, I practically melted into my mattress. His touch felt so damn good—not to mention surreal. It had been so long since I’d been touched by a man. But being touched like this by Deacon? It was my ultimate fantasy come true.
After a few minutes, I felt his fingers grip the elastic band of my panties. Then he slowly worked to move them down. My clit was already throbbing, and he hadn’t even touched it yet.