“Now we get to see Auntie Kate every day. I like it when we see her every day…I never wanted you to leave though, Daddy. Even though we didn’t get to see Auntie Kate…I like it when you’re here.”
Keller’s words finally came back to me, and I dropped my head to my hands. “Jesus Christ.”
“Look, man, Kate wouldn’t thank me for coming here and telling you all of this—”
“Then why are you here?” I asked in frustration, looking up to meet his eyes.
“Because she’s at the hospital, about to give birth to your daughter, and since I was already on my way west, I thought someone should tell you in person.”
“Fuck!” I stood from my seat and looked around the room in a panic. “She’s not due for weeks.”
“I can stay here with the kids, if you want. Drive them up in the morning—I came out to visit a couple of months ago, so they know who I am.” He stood and stretched his lanky body. “If not, I’ll just grab a flight and head up myself.”
“No! No, I’ll just—” I looked around the room in confusion. “I just need to call my CO and make sure I can get my time, and, um…”
“Go get it done, man. I’ll find you a flight.”
He walked toward his bag and pulled out a laptop as I raced quietly up the stairs. I needed to get to Kate. I should have never left her up there.
My mind raced and so did my heart as I emptied the bag on my bed and began to repack it while dialing my commanding officer.
There had been too many revelations in one night. I couldn’t keep up or reconcile Alex’s memories with my own.
Had Rachel really treated Kate like that? How had I never noticed? How had I missed something so huge? Had Sage and Keller talked about Kate more than I’d realized? By the way Alex had explained it, she’d been like another parent to them, and I’d never known.
I couldn’t think about all of that then. I needed to get to Oregon. I could figure everything else out after I got to Kate.
* * *
I’d barely made it a few feet into the waiting room when I got knocked on my ass by a sucker punch to the jaw.
“What the fuck?”
“Get the fuck out of here,” Bram ordered, pointing toward the door.
“Abraham, knock it off!” Kate’s dad, Dan, ordered in a gruff voice. “This is not the time or the place, son.”
“I’ll fucking kill you,” Bram said quietly as his dad stood up from his seat. “Watch your back.”
“Is she okay?” I asked the room as Bram stalked away and I climbed to my feet.
“Everything went really well,” Ellie assured me as she walked toward me. “Mom and baby are doing good.”
“She’s already here?” I asked, my voice cracking as disappointment filled me.
“About an hour ago, sweetheart,” Ellie said sympathetically, reaching up to give me a hug.
“Fuck.”
“You want to go see them?”
“Yeah.”
I followed Ellie down the hall but stopped short when we reached the door for Kate’s room. My palms were sweating, and it felt like I had a boulder pressing on my chest. I didn’t know if I could go in there.
But when Ellie opened up the door, my feet moved forward without conscious thought, bringing me toward the two figures lying quietly on the bed.
“Katie?” I called softly as her mom stood up from her place next to the bed and followed Ellie back out of the room. “I’m here, baby.”
Her eyes were closed as I reached out and rubbed my fingertips over her hair. She looked so worn out. Her eyes and lips were swollen, and she had little red dots all over her cheeks where the capillaries must have burst during labor. So beautiful.
It had always been Kate. My hands shook as the truth seeped into my pores. It had been her since I was just a stupid kid.
“Don’t touch me,” she said shakily, finally opening her eyes. “Get out.”
“Katie, I—”
“Where are my children?” she asked, her eyes foggy from medication.
“They’re in Calif—”
Her arms tightened around our daughter as if she was afraid I was going to snatch her away. “Get out.”
“Katiebear, I’m so sorry.”
“I hate you,” she whispered, her eyes filling with tears. “I wish you were dead because then I could have my children back.”
I stumbled away from the bed, horrified, and watched as she fell asleep as if I’d never even been there.
Jesus Christ, what had I done?
Chapter 13
Kate
Time to get you dressed, sweet girl,” I cooed into Iris’s sleeping face as I lay her on my hospital bed. “We don’t have our own house yet, but you’re going to like Grandma’s house. Your brothers and sister love it there.”
Dressing a newborn is a lot like dressing an octopus: Their little limbs are so bendy that trying to push them through the tiny holes is a test in patience—not to mention the floppy neck and the head that’s completely out of proportion.