“Christ.”
“We’re getting off topic,” Alex said with a shake of his head.
“Why the fuck would no one ever tell me that?” I asked, furious.
“What the hell is it to you? Up until about nine months ago, you didn’t care if Kate dropped dead in the middle of the street.”
“That’s bullshit.”
“No, that’s the truth,” he shot back, his fists clenching. “Oh, I know all about that shit when we were kids—you hanging out with Kate, taking what you wanted from her and giving nothing back. Hell, we all saw that. But Kate is Kate, and she begged us not to step in. For some unknown reason she continued to trust blindly even after what that little shit had done years before…and for that you fucked her right the hell over, didn’t you?”
“It wasn’t like that,” I argued, my face heating.
“Oh, it was exactly like that. You didn’t want sweet Kate. She wasn’t cool enough for you. Hot enough for you. Whatever, man, that was your deal. But you strung her along for years before she finally got rid of you…but she didn’t, not really.”
I crushed the beer can in my hand, making beer pour out all over the floor.
“Oh, no. You had to twist the knife a little farther, right? Had to have your last coup de grâce. So instead of walking the fuck away, you went for her best friend. Hell, her only friend back then. The one that finally made her feel cool. The only girl she’d ever met who took her at face value and didn’t see anything wrong with her.”
“I fell in love with her!” I hissed. “What the fuck was I supposed to do, just drop Rachel because Kate didn’t like it?”
“Yes,” he answered simply, taking the breath from my lungs. “You should have never started that shit in the first place, but hey, we were all young and stupid once, right? It’s the shit you’ve done since then that makes you a fucking loser.”
“I haven’t done anything to Kate. What the fuck are you talking about?”
“You have no idea.” He shook his head and leaned back against the chair, staring at the ceiling. “Jesus, I didn’t realize you were that stupid.”
“Stop calling me stupid before I beat your ass.”
“You can try, jarhead. Not sure you’d succeed.”
“Get the fuck out of my house. I don’t have to deal with this shit.”
“Oh, I’m not done.” Alex’s body never moved from his relaxed position on the chair even though mine was practically vibrating with suppressed anger.
“I’m done,” I announced.
“Did you know that Kate practically lived with Rachel while you were on deployment?” he asked conversationally.
“What?”
“Yeah, the moment you stepped foot out the door, Rachel was calling Katie to come over and help her.”
“No she wasn’t.” I tried to remember the phone calls and emails from Rachel on my previous deployments, but they’d already started to fade from my memory.
“Yeah, man, she was,” Alex said softly. “Rachel wasn’t good at being alone, you know? Not sure if you’re oblivious or she just hid that shit really well, but Rachel—she was a good girl, don’t get me wrong—but she used Kate for years.”
“You’re wrong,” I argued, shaking my head.
“I’m right, man, and if you think back, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. Kate moved here for Rachel. She could do her job anywhere, so why wouldn’t she stay in Oregon with her family? She set things aside, and moved things around, and was at your wife’s side for years while you were off on deployment after deployment. She didn’t keep a boyfriend beyond a month or two because they saw that shit and either couldn’t deal or tried to talk to Kate about it and she dropped them. She practically raised your kids, man.”
“Oh my God.”
“Don’t get me wrong, Kate loved it.” He sighed tiredly and shook his head. “She’d do anything for her friends, and she fell in love with Sage the first moment she saw her. Hell, I think she was the first one to ever even hold Gavin. She loves those kids, and if I asked her, I think she’d say that she wouldn’t change one minute of the last nine years. Which is crazy fucked up because when you were home? She lost all that. See, Rachel didn’t need her anymore. She had you, right?”
“Stop,” I ordered, holding up my hand. I was trying to remember something Keller had said to me last year. What had he said?
“In one way or another you’ve been controlling her life and happiness for almost half her life, you self-important prick. It’s always been you. She fucking revolves around you, like you’re the sun or some shit,” Alex growled in frustration. “And now, when she’s pregnant with your child, you take her kids and leave her?”
“They’re not her—”
“You finish that sentence and I’ll knock you the fuck out,” he cut in before finishing his beer and setting the can down on the coffee table. “I guess she should be used to it by now, right? You’re home from deployment, only makes sense that she’s out on her ass again.”