I soon came to realize that, though the boys were twins, they were as different as chalk and cheese. Alex became my confidant. He was understanding, and calm, and willing to listen to anything I said. Bram? Well, he didn’t care what an eight-year-old girl had to say. He hadn’t really wanted to bother with me at all. I’d been convinced that he just didn’t like me until one day when I’d accidentally walked into a blackberry bush and scratched a deep groove into my eyelid. I’d been screaming, stumbling around as blood ran into my eye and partially blinded me, when Bram came running. He’d been bigger than me, even then, and had picked me up and carried me all the way home.
I’d known then that, though Bram wasn’t interested in my day-to-day drama, he wouldn’t hesitate if he thought I’d needed him. He was the most solid man I knew. Stalwart. Loyal. And he wanted to beat the hell out of the man standing next to me.
“Help me inside?” I asked tremulously. Shane made a small sound of protest in the back of his throat.
“Yeah, no problem,” Bram said, hopping down off the porch and scooping me into his arms to carry me bridal-style. “Kids are waiting for you inside.”
* * *
“You guys are going to go back to San Diego with your dad,” I tried to explain to the older kids for what felt like the twentieth time that afternoon. The only one who seemed completely okay with the situation was Gunner, who sat oblivious, snacking on a small bowl of marshmallows. I swear it was the only way I could keep the kid still for more than a few minutes at a time. I’d figured it out months ago and had used the trick to keep him quiet and happy during Shane’s Skype calls.
“What are you going to do?” Sage asked in confusion.
“I have to stay here, Sage the Rage. I can’t fly. I’m not even supposed to get out of bed.”
“We should stay too then,” Keller said, a small scowl on his face. “We shouldn’t leave you here by yourself.”
“I’ll be okay. I have my mom and your grandma to take care of me,” I told him, my eyes watering.
“I don’t wanna go back.”
“You start kindergarten next week, bud. You don’t want to start later than everyone else, do you?”
“We could go to school here,” Sage interrupted excitedly. “We could ride the bus.”
I glanced up to where Shane stood in the doorway to my room and flinched at the misery in his eyes.
“You have to go with your daddy, sweetheart,” I told her gently. “He’s missed you guys.”
“But you’ll miss us!” Keller said, turning to his dad. “She’ll miss us if we leave her.”
“I know, bud,” Shane said consolingly, “but she’ll come—”
“She can’t move or Iris will come out!” Keller yelled back, his whole body shaking with sudden fury. “She has to stay in bed!”
“It’s not forever, baby,” I tried to calm him down.
“Iris?” Shane asked.
“That’s the baby’s name,” Sage informed him. “It’s a flower, and it only has four letters, like mine!”
“Awesome.” Shane smiled.
“I’m not going,” Keller announced, his voice trembling. “I’m staying here with Auntie Kate.”
Gavin had been sitting quietly, watching everything unfold, but at Keller’s announcement he started crying.
“Oh, monkey,” I cooed, sitting up to pull him onto what was left of my lap. “It’s okay.”
He mumbled something back that I couldn’t understand then began to sob as I rocked him back and forth.
“Son, it’s time to go, if you’re going,” I heard Mike say from the hallway, making my body go cold.
“Give Auntie Kate a kiss, guys. It’s time to go,” Shane called out as he stepped toward the bed.
“No,” Keller replied as Sage’s face grew terrified. She looked between me and Shane, her lower lip quivering.
“Give me a smooch, sweet thing,” I teased, my voice hitching. “Time to go.”
As she leaned over and gave me a quick kiss, wrapping her arms around where I held Gavin, I closed my eyes and tried to get my emotions under control. Sobbing would only make their departure harder for them, and I couldn’t let that happen.
Sage crawled off the bed and walked to the door without looking back, dodging the hand that Shane held out to her.
“Give me a kiss, monkey,” I said into Gavin’s ear as he hiccuped. “You get to ride on an airplane!”
“Don’t wanna.”
“You love to fly! I bet the flight attendants will even give you some pretzels if you use your manners.”
Ellie came into the room then, and I widened my eyes at her strained face. “Come on, Gavie,” she called, picking Gavin up off my lap after another quick kiss. “Grandma will help you buckle your seat.”
“Mama!” Gunner yelled as I watched Ellie carry Gavin out the door. “Annie! Mama! Mama!”