I tried to control them, push them away, but blood was throbbing through my body to my dick and it became impossible to ignore.
Just that night. Just that night I would give in.
My hand moved under the covers and gripped the shaft of my dick, squeezing tightly before roughly pulling up and moving back down. My speed increased as the images came faster. I imagined flipping her over as she fought me, and ripping her panties from her. I wanted to control her body and grip her hips as I shoved inside her. Her cries echoed in my mind as I thought about slamming into her over and over again. Taking her.
Just in time, I flipped the sheet back and flexed my ass as the orgasm came pouring out of me, splashing against my chest. It seemed to go on forever as I loosened the death grip I had on my cock and rode out the waves of ecstasy rolling through my body.
But once the fire faded, my skin broke out in chills and my stomach cramped as I rethought what I’d just done. Not only had I jerked off to thoughts of my friend, I’d gotten off on thoughts of assaulting her. Not once did I envision gently making love to someone I cared about more than anything. Instead, I imagined fucking her, roughly, and drowning in her cries as I forced her.
The thought of her struggling under me, made the urge more intense. My stomach cramped again and after wiping my cum off my chest, I curled into a ball, hoping it would ease the ache.
Curling my hands together, I prayed to God to help me push the thoughts away. To help me be normal.
Chapter Eleven
Ana
Fuck, fuck, fuck. The words were a chant in my head as I dashed across the lawn and in through my front door, falling against it once it was closed.
“Hey Sweetie, how was your date?” my mom asked from her perch on the couch. She leaned back, cradling a glass of wine and watching television. “How’s Sean?”
“Good.” I took a minute to catch my breath. “Good. He’s good. I’m good. Date was good.”
She squinted, probably wondering why I kept stuttering out ‘good.’
“Everything okay?” she asked slowly.
“Yeah. Sure. Why?”
“Other than the fact that you came barreling in the house like you were being chased?” She paused giving me time to explain. I couldn’t come up with a valid excuse, so I just smiled. “Everything with Sean okay?”
With Sean, yeah. Everything was great with Sean. Other than the fact that he had the worst girlfriend in the entire world. However, things with Kevin were in wild chaos and I was still caught in a spiraling motion, unable to process anything. I took a deep breath and tried to calm down enough to reassure her. “Yeah, Mom. Things are great. Sean took me to dinner and it was, as usual, very nice.”
That seemed to appease her. “Good. I’m glad you had a good time. He’s such a nice boy. You two are lucky to have found each other.” She lifted her glass to her lips, and I took the opportunity to head to my room. I opened the door without turning the light on and looked out my window to Kevin’s. The lights were out.
Sadness hit me that I wouldn’t be able to wave goodnight like we did most nights. But then relief followed because I didn’t know what I felt, and I wasn’t even sure I was able to lift my hand and wave at him after what had just happened.
Leaving the lights out, I stripped out of my dress and put on a nightshirt. My heart raced as I fell into bed, not slowing even after fifteen minutes. Staring at the ceiling, I brought my hands to my puffy lips. They tingled from the force he’d kissed me with.
My hands began taking stock of how my body felt in the places he’d touched me. Once they were done with my lips, they moved to my wrists. I wondered if I turned on the light, if I would be able to see red marks from where he’d gripped me so hard.
They skimmed down my neck to where he bit me. Bit me. I still couldn’t believe it. My sweet friend Kevin—my best friend—had bit his way down my neck and kissed me in a way that I’d only dreamed of when I touched myself. Hurt me in a way that I’d only thought of in the dark of night, where it was easier to fall asleep rather than dwell on how dirty I felt imagining things a lady didn’t normally imagine.
But he had. Kevin had pinned me down and taken what he’d wanted. As my fingers reached my chest, the thud of my heart greeted them. It beat in fear of what the night meant for us. But mainly, it beat with excitement.