“Alright, then this is what we’re going to do. Tonight, you’re going to start by getting blind drunk. You’ll sleep it off tomorrow, and then you’ll be going back to school. Concentrate on your fucking school work, keep out of trouble, and don’t fuck around with other chicks to try and forget. Trust me, I’ve tried that and it doesn’t fucking work.”
“And?” I prompt, knowing there’s more.
“And you need to keep your mind off her, so in the afternoons, once school is out for the day, you can come down to the shop and work on the Jag with me or chill with the boys. I don’t really give a shit what you do, as long as you’re not sitting down in here, feeling sorry for yourself.”
I think it over for a quick moment and realize that he’s right. Anything will be better than sitting around here wishing the pain would go away. “Alright,” I tell him. “I’m in.”
A slow smile spreads across his face. “Fuck yeah,” he says. “Then you better get your mom on the phone because we’re having a fucking party tonight.”
Chapter 11
Brylee
I have never been so happy to see the end of my period. It’s been two weeks since that night and every moment of every day, I wondered if I threw it all away and was about to suffer through a teen pregnancy. Though would it be the worst thing in the world? If I did, at least I’d possibly be able to have Tyson back in my life.
He still hasn’t talked to me. I’ve sent three messages over the past two weeks and every one of them has gone unanswered. It’s killing me, the more time I have to go over it, the more I realize just how badly I fucked up.
He was right, I am in love with him, and the more that becomes apparent, the more it hurts. How could I have not seen it before? I’ve had people everywhere telling me and hoping I see the light, yet I was so blinded by my own insecurities and stubborn nature.
Friends can’t sleep together. It never works. All the movies and books say so, but I didn’t listen. I thought me and Ty could be the exception, we were strong enough to see it through and come out the other end. I’m such an idiot.
I knew he loved me, but I didn’t realize it started all the way back then. I can’t believe I didn’t see it, but now thinking back, it was so damn obvious. I used to get text messages every day saying ‘good morning.’ I used to receive random midnight calls to chat. I used to have him show up on my door and kiss me as though he’s never kissed a woman in his life…but now, it’s all gone. I get nothing and I’ve never felt so damn empty inside.
Another wave of tears come on and I reach for the tissues that have had to permanently relocate to my bedside table. Why does it still hurt? I did the right thing…or maybe I didn’t.
I want him so bad. I just need to feel his arms wrapped securely around my body, telling me that it’s all going to be alright. I need his lips on mine, taking away my pain.
I feel so dead inside. Why is it that I always want what I can’t have and when it was there, looking me in the face and begging me to give it a shot, I was more than ready to push it away?
I fucking suck.
My mindless state of tears and regret have kept me from being able to concentrate on my school work to the point that some of my professors have even made comments. I’ve had absent days, days where I sit in class and don’t hear a thing, and I’ve been late with two assignments. This shit simply doesn’t happen to me and it’s the kind of thing that I was trying to avoid altogether. This is the very reason why I didn’t want a relationship, yet even without one, I’m still falling apart.
What the hell am I doing? I’m pathetic.
My phone rings and I try to pull myself together before answering it. “Hello,” I sniffle into the phone while using my forearm to wipe the tears off my face.
“Shit. Are you crying again?” Courtney questions with a heavy sigh.
“I can’t help it. I love him,” I blurt out before I realize what the hell I’m even saying.
I hear the smile in Courtney’s tone. “So, you finally see it? You love him, like really deep down, gut-wrenching, can’t live without him love him?”
“Yesss,” I groan, drawing it out, feeling sick that I’ve let it go on so long without fixing it.
“Holy shit,” Court laughs. “About time. I thought you’d never figure it out.”