“I never said that. I’m just saying—”
“Then what the fuck are you saying, Rome? Because I need to know this goddamn information.” He came back to me, standing in front of me with his arms by his sides. The elevator finally came to a stop, and the doors opened, revealing an empty lobby.
My body responded to his like it usually did, making my stomach ache and my heart weep with longing. “It doesn’t matter what I said. You aren’t going to change. You made that perfectly clear. And I’m not gonna change either. I want marriage, kids, a goddamn white picket fence and to be so madly in love that people want to vomit when they look at us.” I didn’t care if he judged me for being a hopeless romantic. I didn’t care if he thought I was like every other woman in the world who wanted a Prince Charming.
His hand moved to my cheek, this thumb brushing over my bottom lip. His eyes were glued to mine, his gentleness coming out of nowhere. “Would you want all of that with me?”
The air left my lungs at the question. “I told you I loved you, didn’t I?”
His thumb paused at the corner of my mouth. “Then your answer is yes. You would give me another chance?”
“Would you really give up your…preferences?” I knew what his answer would be before he gave it.
He lowered his hand and stepped back, not answering the question at all. The elevator doors began to close, so he held them open with his arm. He gave me a nod, telling me to walk out first.
I hid my disappointment when he didn’t reconsider. I wanted to burst into tears because I felt rejected all over again. He wanted me, but not enough. He’d rather have a new woman in his life, one who would take a whip and like it. It was better than trying to make it work with me, to having vanilla sex every night with a woman who actually cared about him. I headed straight for the doors with my head held high. He’d just wounded me all over again, but like last time, I wouldn’t let it show.
I refused to let it show.
“Rome.” Calloway caught up to me on the sidewalk, his hand moving to my upper arm.
I twisted out of the hold. “Don’t touch me.”
He pulled his hand away, the hurt in his eyes.
“Good night, Calloway.” I veered to the left even though it was in the opposite direction of my apartment. If I had to loop around on a different block, that was still better than moving around him. Without turning around, I could feel his gaze pierce into my back. He watched me walk out of his life once again.
14
Calloway
“When are you going to snap out of this?” Jackson walked into my office, catching me off guard even though he never bothered to be quiet when he entered without knocking. “When you were with her, you were boring. But now, you’re super boring.”
I ignored his comment—like all the others. “I hired some new dancers. They’ll start this Friday night. I think it’ll shake up the entertainment.”
“Dancers?”
“In cages with gas masks.”
“Ooh…maybe you’re a little less boring.”
I cracked a smile—a fake one. “I’ve got a new vendor who asked me to put his vodka in our bar. Tastes pretty good, so I thought I would give it a try.”
“New booze. That’s always nice.” He fell into the armchair and interlocked his fingers behind his neck. “So…I talked to Isabella today.”
“I sincerely hope you didn’t tell her I was available. It’s one thing to reject a woman when I have a partner. But it’s just cruel to reject her when I’m free.”
“Reject her?” He moved his arms to the armrests. “I assumed you two would pick up where you left off.”
“No.” I didn’t do back-to-backs. Wasn’t my thing. I’d had a long relationship with Isabella. It had its ups and downs, but it was over. I couldn’t put it more simply than that. “I’m not looking for anything right now.”
“Why? They say you should get back on the horse, right?”
“There’s only one horse I want to get on.”
He rolled his eyes. “Still brooding over her, huh?”
I pressed my fingertips together, what I usually did when I sat at my desk and busied myself with depressing thoughts. “Yes, Jackson. Just as devastated as I was last week.”
He knew I wasn’t in the mood for his taunts. “Why don’t you just make it work with her?”
“She doesn’t want to be my sub.”
“Then don’t make her. Just be her boyfriend. If you’re this miserable anyway, what’s the harm in making the compromise?”
“I can’t do that.” I shook my head, my jaw clenched. It wasn’t in my nature. I was surprised our vanilla sex had lasted as long as it did. If it were any other woman, I would have lost interest a long time ago.