We got inside, and the elevator began its descent all the way down to the bottom floor.
I gripped the strap of my purse so tightly the skin of my palm turned red. I pretended this breakup didn’t wound me as much as it did, but my anger just proved how devastated I was inside. I wanted more than an apology from him. I wanted more than he could possibly give.
“I’m sorry I let my anger get to me back there.” His words broke the tension, slicing through it like a knife. “I haven’t been myself lately. I haven’t slept since…you left me.”
His apology just made me angrier. “Poor thing, I made you lose sleep? It’s not like I lost anything…” Bitterness escaped in my voice, thinking about all the things he took from me. Not only my virginity, but he made me believe in love and trust. Then he shattered them like some cruel joke.
He turned his head my way, the elevator still descending. “Everything I felt for you was real. It still is, Rome. You have no idea how much I miss you. You have no idea how much I hate that bed now that you aren’t in it. Before you, I couldn’t stand the thought of sleeping with anyone, and now, I can’t sleep without you.”
His confession tugged at my heartstrings, but I still didn’t cave. “I’m sure you slept with all those subs at Ruin just fine…”
He slammed the STOP button with his face, bringing the elevator to an immediate halt.
“What the hell are you—”
He cornered me against the back wall, his arms pressed against the metal on either side of me so I couldn’t hit the elevator buttons. “You are the only woman in my life, Rome. When I was at Ruin, I was in the office doing payroll, inventory, schedules, and other shit just as boring. Not once did I lay a hand on anyone else. I can accept you walking away, but I can’t accept you believing that bullshit. Do you understand me?”
I kept my hands to my sides, seeing those smooth lips that I used to kiss over and over.
“Vanilla, do you understand me?” His hand moved around my neck, and he squeezed me gently, his fingertips pulsing against my skin.
“Don’t call me that.”
“I’ll call you whatever the hell I want. Now, answer me.”
“I don’t know what to think, Calloway.”
He pressed his face closer to mine. “If I’d fucked someone else, I would tell you. I have nothing to hide. You know I own Ruin, and I feel no shame in that partnership. You were my whole world when we were together. Why would I look at the moon, when I have all the fucking stars right in front of me?” He finally released my neck but didn’t step back. He kept me boxed in, away from the elevator buttons.
I believed him. He gave me no evidence of his claims, but I didn’t need any more convincing. When he was this passionate, this angry, I knew he was being honest. “Okay.”
“Okay, what?” he snarled.
“I believe you.”
He finally stepped back, but he looked just as angry as when the conversation started. He slammed his hand onto the green button so the elevator would start back up. He leaned against the wall, not looking at me. He crossed his powerful arms over his chest as the hum of the elevator came back to life.
I remained in my spot, hardly breathing because so much electricity ran through my veins. The chemistry was exactly the same, unbelievably scorching. I felt my fingertips and toes burn from the heat.
He sighed then looked up at the fluorescent lights on the ceiling. “Sweetheart, it would be different with me… I would never hurt you.”
I didn’t expect him to fight for me. It was the first time he’d mentioned anything since we went our separate ways. A part of me was glad to see his unkempt beard and the exhaustion in his eyes. It made me feel important, that our relationship really did mean something to him. I could have sworn he loved me, with all those kisses and heated looks, but then I found out the terrible truth. I feared I didn’t matter to him, that while I was madly in love with him, I was just some woman he would forget about. “You know I can’t do it, Calloway.”
“You trust me.”
“I did trust you. Not anymore.”
He kept his eyes on me. “I’m the same man you fell for. Nothing has changed. Just give me a chance.”
“I don’t want to be your sub, Calloway. I want to be your girlfriend—nothing else.”
His eyes darkened, his thoughts unreadable.
“That’s nonnegotiable.”
“Are you saying you would take me back on those terms?”
I avoided his gaze, surprised by the question. “I don’t know…”
“Rome, is that what you’re saying?” he repeated. “You would be with me again if I made this sacrifice?”