I wasn’t sure how long I stood there, but it seemed to be an eternity. I concentrated on breathing in and out, dispelling the agony and the rage within me. I needed to remain calm because going on a rampage wouldn’t fix my current situation. What happened to Rome was in the past, and no matter how powerful I was, I couldn’t change the past.
I could only change the future.
Once I put myself together enough to face her, I turned back around and walked to where she stood on the opposite side of the living room. She was exactly where I left her, her arms still crossed over her chest. Now she wore a defeated look, appearing hollow.
“There are a few things I’d like to say,” I whispered. “I hope you’ll hear me out.”
The only response I got was eye contact.
“What he did to you…” I couldn’t finish the sentence because the rage started back up again. “Is completely different from the kind of relationship I want. I would never hurt you, Rome. I would never do anything that you didn’t explicitly want me to do. Our relationship would be about trust. I would give the commands, but you would have all the control. With just a single word, you can make me stop instantly. There would only be pleasure—I promise you.”
She shook her head, the response I didn’t want to see. “Christopher told me about the stuff he saw inside Ruin. Women with chains around their necks while men held on to them like dogs on a leash. The way the men won’t even allow their women to speak in front of other men. The way they whip them in playrooms until their skin is bruised. As a feminist, I’m appalled that women participate in this world at all. I’m not ashamed to say I want true love. I want a man to love me with all his heart, to be gentle with me, to be satisfied when he makes love to me. I want a man who doesn’t get off on hurting his woman.” Her eyes burned as she looked at me. “Maybe you’re into that, but I’m certainly not.”
She didn’t understand, and now I feared she never would. “You’re looking at it from an outside point of view. That’s not what it’s really like.”
“So you’re saying the stuff Christopher told me is untrue?”
“Not at all.” It was definitely true. I’d had a chain around Isabella’s neck several times. “Yes, it happens every single day. But we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, Rome. You aren’t listening to me.”
“No,” she scoffed. “You aren’t listening to me. I want nothing to do with your underworld, and I’m not going to change my mind.”
I was losing her. “I may have the control, but you have all the power, sweetheart. I would never do anything that you didn’t want me to do. Do you understand that? I would never put a chain around your neck unless you asked me to. I would never tell you to be silent in front of other Doms if you had something to say. You’re missing the fact that this is all consensual. As in, both parties want it. You and I can have any kind of relationship you want. We already do stuff that I enjoy. I loved tying you up to my headboard, and I know you loved it too. So don’t completely write this off because you don’t understand it.”
She only shook her head.
“Rome, please, just consider it.”
“No,” she said coldly. “You and I want different things. I’m never going to be your sub, Calloway. Accept it, and move on.”
I bowed my head in disappointment, struggling to accept the truth. I wasn’t getting my way with the one woman I truly wanted. “What if we took baby steps? What if we tried—”
“No.” She turned her head away, no longer looking at me.
Our relationship had already progressed beyond general lovemaking. I took her roughly in many ways. I asked her to do things for me, and she didn’t even realize it. Her prejudice against this world was unfair. What Hank did to her was just physical assault—a crime. But it didn’t seem like I could argue my point any further.
“I’ll submit my resignation tomorrow morning.”
I hadn’t even considered our work relationship. “Please don’t do that.”
“I can’t work with you every day, Calloway. No matter how much I may love my job.”
I’d go crazy if I didn’t have some kind of connection with her. If I never saw her again, I would lose my mind. “Rome, you’re perfect for the position. Think of all the things you’ve done in the past month. The people of New York City need you. Please don’t walk away because of me. It wouldn’t be fair to everyone else.”