“Come on,” he teases. “You were really worried I’d end up in jail or on your couch.”
“True.” I giggle, turning to face him. “But I like this version of you, all grown up.”
“Well…” He blows out a breath. “You can thank yourself for that. If you’d have stayed here, I don’t think I ever would’ve realized what a punk I was.”
“You weren’t a punk.”
“I was. I did whatever I wanted and had no plan for going anywhere. Then you left and I realized…” He looks at me and then at the floor. “I realized I’d already lost the best thing that would ever happen to me.”
There isn’t a reply to that. I just hold a breath and watch his beautiful eyes soften.
“So,” he goes on, “one night I decided I was going to do something with myself, and if you ever came back, maybe I could show you I wasn’t a loser.”
“What if I never came back?”
“Honestly? I’d have been a little relieved.
“Gee, thanks.”
“What?” He chuckles, motioning for me to follow him. “Is it wrong that I would’ve found relief in knowing I wouldn’t be falling in love again? That shit hurts, Kal.”
I stop walking. “What if I did come back?”
He pauses too and turns around. Running a hand through his thick, silky locks, his cheeks redden. “Then I’d fight like hell to get you back.”
“You’re just being charming again,” I whisper, knowing it’s a lie as soon as I say it. There’s no denying the stripped-down emotion on his face, the crinkle in his forehead just between his eyes. The corners of his lips flicker, almost pulling into a smile, but not quite.
“Come on,” he says, turning away. “Let’s teach you how to throw a punch.”
Seven
Kallie
“I like this one too.” I point at the screen toward a small one-bedroom, one-bathroom apartment.
“It’s so small,” Nora remarks. “That bathroom is barely big enough to turn around in.”
“True. But it’ll be just me. I don’t need tons of space.”
“If you use more than five cosmetics at one time, you’re screwed. Just think about that.”
Nora sinks into the pillows on her sofa as I readjust the computer on my lap. We’ve been at this for a while now and my friend’s patience is running thin—not because of the house hunt. Because I’ve not brought up Cross.
Just thinking about him in theory alone causes my stomach to go crazy and, when I allow my brain to focus on his face or his smell or his touch, it’s lights out. I can’t focus on anything else. It’s a Cross Show and I don’t necessarily want a ticket.
Nora does, though. Her gaze is heavy on the side of my face as I pretend to be immersed in the hunt for an apartment.
“What about this one?” I ask.
“Stop ignoring me.”
“What are you talking about? I’m talking to you. That’s hardly ignoring you.” I laugh, feigning ignorance.
She sighs dramatically. “You aren’t giving me an opening.”
“An opening for what?”
Scrambling to sit up, she throws a pillow at me. “I know you saw Cross.”
My head falls to the cushion at my back. Just like that, the weight that had been sitting on top of us is now squarely on my shoulders. I close the computer lid. “And how do you know that?”
“I saw your car at the gym. I just happened to be heading to Crank to take Walker and Peck a sandwich and saw it there.” Her bottom lip juts out. “You didn’t even call me.”
Laughing, I lift my head. “I don’t have to call you with every little thing, Nora.”
“This is not a little thing! You saw Cross. Privately. Alone.”
“And it was private,” I say, shaking my head. “Do you know what that means?”
“Yup. It means it’s for the two of you and me. Besides,” she says, rolling her eyes, “everyone knows. Machlan asked me about it while we were closing tonight.”
“Oh, good grief.” I groan.
My eyes close as I prepare to either answer or do my best to deflect her questions. But, when the peace is supposed to come, Cross’s handsome face comes instead. I feel a smile inch across my lips as my insides grow warm.
My hips sing as the memory of his hands gripping them yesterday as he showed me how to punch again lights up my mind. The heat of his breath on the back of my neck. The wicked combination of tenderness and ferocity that danced in his eyes.
It’s only natural to be almost-smitten already with him, but it’s also irresponsible. I’m not a child anymore, hardly the teenager that fell in love with a boy a couple of years older than her with the crooked grin.
I need to adult this relationship. Potential relationship. Letting my walls come down without realizing my fears are still absolutely warranted would be careless. And stupid. And so, so easy.