I knew I’d have to let him in our lives, but I would say how much.
5 Ian
Holy fuck. Holy fuck. Oh. Holy. Fuck.
With every step closer to my office, my chant rang louder.
That, and thinking about how soft her hand was. Somehow my mind tore in two. One side was panicking about the pregnant woman behind me, and the other was wondering how fast I could feel those soft hands on the rest of my body. Although, that thought shriveled up and died when I finally closed us in my office and turned to find her harsh scowl. I even took a step back from her until I bumped against my desk.
Rather than letting her know how shaky my legs felt, I leaned against the edge and crossed my arms, lifting my chin like that had been the plan the whole time.
“It is mine, right?”
“Maybe it’s not.”
“Carina,” I growled.
Her hands moved to her hips, pulling the jacket she wore open and exposing more of her belly. The belly that had my baby inside it. A baby. My baby.
She didn’t have to say it, because I may not have spent much time with her, but I knew enough to know she wouldn’t screw around about this if it wasn’t mine.
My throat threatened to close up on me, but I swallowed hard, blotting that out for now. Carina stood before me, her chin high and proud, her eyes hard and scared.
Carina, the woman who haunted me at night—and during the day. The woman who had me jerking off more than I’d like to admit over the past eight months was standing in my office, looking gorgeous…and scared.
I’d had an hour to deal with the fact that she was pregnant, and, in that time, the fear was crushing me under its weight. I’d barely taken anything in during the meeting, focusing on controlling the increasing pressure on my chest—trying to create a plan of action in my head. Questions had bombarded me, fears of being a father—of being responsible for another life created chaos, images of how my life would change, making it hard to breathe.
But she’d been dealing with that pressure for months. And she’d been alone.
She didn’t have to be alone. “Why didn’t you find me?”
One eyebrow slowly rose. “Well, Ian,” she began, her tone dripping with condescension. “Without a last name, you’re hard to find.”
“You’ve been working with us for seven months. How could you not know?”
Her arms flung out to the side. “I don’t know, Ian. How could you not know? Could it be I’ve only been here six times, and you weren’t here for any of the meetings? Could it be that I was working directly with Erik? Maybe that’s it.”
She stepped away from the door, prowling further into the room with each reason for not making the connection. I had to admit, with each sarcastic remark, I recalled how much I missed her sass. No other woman had compared since her. All of them too easy. There’d been no challenge like Carina.
“You know, none of this would have happened if you’d just have given me your number.”
“I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if you could have kept it in your pants. And maybe I didn’t want you to find me, thinking I wanted a repeat.”
“You didn’t seem to mind my company when I had my fingers between your legs or when I fucked you against a wall. In fact, I seem to remember you crying for more.”
Color rose high on her cheeks, but she didn’t look away. “Momentary lapse in judgment.”
I shook my head and laughed. “You’re still such a pain.”
She didn’t respond. Instead the seconds ticked by as we continued to stare, a world of tension swimming in the small two feet between us. As much as I could’ve stared at her for hours, we had bigger issues to deal with.
“So, what are we going to do?”
“Nothing,” she answered easily, but I could hear the hitch in her voice. She was nervous. “I’m doing fine on my own. And now you know.”
My heart thundered in my chest, picking up the pace until I was worried it would break free. She expected me to do nothing?
Of course, she did, Ian. No one expected anything serious from you. I shook that voice off, not liking how close it sounded to my parents. “Are you shitting me, Carina? That’s my baby.”
“I’m aware.”
I almost laughed at how she could appear so haughty at a time like this, while my mind ran rampant.
I was going to be a father. And I had to tell my parents they would be grandparents. That thought filled me with a mixture of fear and excitement. They never thought I was capable of being more than a flippant playboy. Being a father would force them to see me. Of course, I’d have to admit that it was a one-night stand with a woman whose last name I hadn’t known, and that was where the fear came in.