“I found out I lost the baby that morning, and I wanted to see you. I spent the night before in the hospital because I was bleeding so much. I couldn’t stand to stay in another minute, so I went looking for you. All day, I looked for you, and when you eventually decided to show up, you broke up with me.”
“Fuck… Jia …, God I didn’t know.”
“I know, I know you didn’t. I never told you I was pregnant, so there’s no way you would have known. What I can’t stand is hearing you lied to me for whatever reason, and now I’m supposed to wait to find out the truth. When I say trust, I mean being there for me. The fact that you lied means you chose not to be there for me, whether you knew what was happening or not.” This is too upsetting.
I didn’t even know I was crying until the tears start running down my cheeks and the vision of him starts to blur.
“Jia…” He reaches for me, but I step away.
I need space. Maybe I should have taken time too and not sprung this in the spur of the moment. I wasn’t prepared. I wasn’t prepped for the deep emotion it would stir up.
“Just leave me alone.” I wince and shake my head at him.
I make a move to go, but he catches my arm.
“Jia, I’m sorry.”
“Paul, please… just let me go.”
He doesn’t. He continues to hold on and doesn’t release me until I wrench my arm free of his grasp.
I rush away from him, jump in my car, and head home, grateful that he didn’t follow.
I got too upset, more than when I told the girls.
That wasn’t the way I imagined telling him, but there was no good way that conversation could have gone.
Now I’m not sure where we stand. It seems to be neither here nor there.
He knows my secret, but I still don’t know his.