Is he only really staying because of that? I shouldn’t question it. I should just be glad he is sticking around. But, of course, I have to prod the loose tooth.
“I love you,” I say. “You are still my husband, and you will be until you say otherwise. You will be the one to end our marriage, Cole. I know I have dealt you the shittiest hand, and if I had known all of this at the beginning, I may have thought twice about turning you. But I love you more than I can say and if you leave me, I will be devastated, but I will understand. Just think about it for a few days. I don’t want you to stay just because you have to.”
“It’s not all been shit,” he says with his half smile that I fell in love with.
“Most of it then,” I say lightly, and he laughs grimly.
“Yeah, most of it,” he says.
“It’s going to get worse,” I say and then bite the inside of my cheek. When will I learn to shut up?
“I know,” he says and sighs. “But I am not leaving.”
The Underworld, March 2014 - Cole
She smiles at him and he kisses her. He has to kiss that perfect mouth and get the high that comes with touching his sire. If he doesn’t, he is going to fall to pieces and sob like the pathetic doormat that he has become. He wants to be stronger. He has tried, but the hits just keep on coming. He has given up everything for her. Everything. His life, his career, his humanity, his child. And all he gets in return is heartbreak and hypocrisy. He wishes now that she had never turned him, but it is too late. It cannot be undone. He is reaching his breaking point. He had hoped it would never come to this, but he is hanging on by a thread. The only thing he is holding onto is that she has given him all the power. She may have kids with men who aren’t him, but they will never have her. Not really. Not until he lets her go and that will never happen. He will never give any of them the satisfaction of giving up. It is all he has, and he will smile and hold onto it to stop himself from burning this house down around them, with every single one of them inside of it.
Chapter 16
The Underworld, March 2014 – Devon
Devon sits on the bed while Jess massages his shoulders. His body has been so tense since his sire has been ignoring him, but today she gave him hope. It is nowhere near what he had hoped, but he knows how much he hurt her. Given enough time, she will come around. He knows she will.
He twitches his shoulders and Jess stops, placing her hands there and asks, “Is something the matter?”
He wants to reply that yes, everything is the matter, but he just can’t deal with the sulking that will come from yet another argument over his sire. Jess really needs to learn how to accept his feelings and move on.
“Nothing,” he finally says and stands up. “I’m just not in the mood.” He stalks to the door and as his hand touches the handle he freezes at her next words.
“I can be her for you,” she whispers.
He spins around and she quickly says, “I look like her, if I curled my hair and dressed like she does, you could pretend with me. You could call me Elizabeth.”
He is outraged with her for even thinking about it, let alone suggesting it out loud after what happened with Other Liv. He strides over to her and she flinches at the anger on his face. He cups her cheek gently and shakes his head. “I don’t want you to be her,” he says.
The relief on her face is evident until he viciously grips her by the hair, pulling until she yelps in pain. “If you ever mention that to me again, I will beat you so badly it will take you a week to recover,” he snarls at her and she whimpers. He does love the feeling that gives him. He wonders if this is what has clouded his judgment all these months? He sort of understands Constantine’s need to punish Lizzie, it is a massive turn-on. Not that he would ever admit that to either one of them. He does wonder why Lizzie has never used her sire bond on him this way. Well, in the five hundred and seven years prior to these last shitty few months. Jess’s fear is rolling off her and normally he would be as hard as steel, but nothing is happening to him. He turns her around and strokes her ass. He loves to take her that way, so tight, but he just isn’t feeling it today. He wonders if he is broken somehow. He can’t remember the last time he wasn’t in the mood for a jump. Especially a punishing one. He can feel how scared she is. He is angrier than he has ever been with her and he knows he has become unpredictable. His mood has been grim for a long time and even Lizzie’s absolution of his sins hasn’t lightened it. He is still in the exact same spot he was yesterday: on the outside. She has changed her mind about marrying him. For now. He has to keep telling himself that it won’t be forever. She will come around.
And he misses Cole.
That had been his only source of true happiness over the last months. He needs to feel his bite again. He doesn’t even know how to ask him now that Liz has returned and told them that they are very likely related. He shoves his wife forward, about to leave her with her fear of not knowing what he is going to do to her later, when he steps back into a solid wall of Other Liv.
Fuck.
“Do you have a death wish?” he asks her blandly, not bothering to turn and look at her. He knows it’s her, he can sense the small, weird, sick bond that they have, and it disgusts him.
She chuckles and curls her hand up over his shoulder and down his chest into his shirtfront. She flicks her long nails over his nipple, and he hates that it gets him stirring. He sees Jess cower into a corner and he finds the reaction interesting. He turns around, removing her hand from his person and as he stares into her bright blue eyes, he wants to reach into her chest and rip her heart out for coming to him like this. “What are you doing here?” he asks. “You know that if Liv finds you, she will kill you this time.”
“Hah,” she scoffs. “I’m more than prepared to take her out if she touches me again. But that does beg the question…”
Devon knows what she wants to know, she came back once before looking for answers, but over his dead body will he betray his sire again. He doesn’t care if Lizzie tells her, that’s up to her, but he is not saying a word. His mouth goes into a tight, grim line and she sighs.
“Who is her father?” she asks in that pseudo-sweet voice that makes him want to throw up on her shoes.
Devon just glares at her and her eyes harden.
/> “Tell me what I want to know,” she demands. He can hear the threat behind it, and he has no doubt she will hurt him to get the information. But he doesn’t care. She can do what she likes to him and then hopefully his real sire will come in and get rid of her once and for all.
She sighs and turns her attentions to Jess. That gets Devon on alert. He should have known she would stoop to threaten a newbie who wouldn’t last a second against her. She flicks a Fireball into her hand and Jess goes ashen.