Her fingers curled around the doorknob, her eyes full of tears as she looked back at him. “I’m sorry.”
Then she was gone, and he was ready to collapse. He steadied himself on the desk because he was afraid that without it he might fall.
He’d lost her once, ten years ago, and he hadn’t known pain like it. But this was worse, so much worse. Because this time he had no idea how they’d ever come back from this.
Chapter Thirty
“Is Mom okay?” Zoe whispered. Van had found her waiting with Becca at the bottom of the office steps. As soon as she saw her, Van hugged her tightly, her legs still shaking from her confrontation with Tanner.
“She’ll be fine once she sleeps it off. She always is.”
Zoe looked up, her face masked with worry. “Do you think there’s something wrong with her?”
Nothing a month in rehab couldn’t fix. Van bit down that thought, because she knew it was cruel. Even though everything felt cruel right now, somehow she had to keep it together for Zoe. “She had a bad day. With the letter she got this morning, then seeing that man.”
“Mr. Fairfax?”
“Yeah, him. I think it sent her a little over the edge. But she’ll be okay, kiddo. She has us.”
“Is Mr. Fairfax really your dad?” Zoe asked as they walked to Becca’s car. She’d offered to drive them home, and Van had gratefully accepted. The way her hands were trembling she wasn’t sure she’d be able to hold the wheel of her own car. Becca promised that one of them would drop it off and put the keys through her door in the morning.
Becca unlocked her car and let them climb inside. It felt weird to hear who her dad was, because neither one of them had ever known. The thought that Johnny might be hers made Van’s stomach lurch.
“I don’t know,” Van told her. “And buckle up.”
“I am.” Zoe took a deep breath. “Is he my dad, too?”
“No sweetheart.” Van squeezed her hand. “He’s not.” Zoe’s dad was one of a few guys her mom had been seeing the summer Van was eighteen. Luckily none of them were Johnny Fairfax. Like Van, Zoe had just accepted the fact she didn’t have a father. Van hoped this didn’t shake her up too much.
She’d worry about that later. Once she’d worked out how to clear up this mess.
Becca turned to smile at them both. “I’ll have you home in a couple of minutes.”
“Thank you,” Van mouthed. She needed to get out of here. Away from the scrutiny of the crowd, and the loud vibration of the screen.
And Tanner. Oh god, Tanner.
She couldn’t think about him. Not if she wanted to stay sane. She needed to get home, and make sure her mom was okay. Only then would she let herself wallow.
In her bed. All alone. Without him.
Where she deserved to be.
The road into Hartson’s Creek was empty. Nearly all of the townspeople were at the drive-in, no doubt with only one eye on the screen as they gossiped about her mom’s revelation. Zoe slid her hand into Van’s, her fingers squeezing tightly, and Van squeezed back.
She forced her mouth into a smile. Zoe didn’t need to know any of this stuff. If there was one thing Van knew, it was that her sister needed to be protected the way she never had been. If she managed to do that and nothing else, then it would be okay.
Not great, but okay. Right now she’d take that.
“Here we are.” Becca parked behind Logan’s rental car. “Home sweet home.”
Van looked at the bungalow she’d grown up in. It wasn’t hers, though. It was Tanner’s. What a damn mess this all was.
Zoe was already pulling the door on her side open, running up the path toward the front door. Van followed her quickly, as Zoe wrenched the door open and ran inside.
“Mom?” she shouted out. Van hurried behind her, gathering her red dress in her hands. Their mom and Logan were sitting at the kitchen table, Kim sipping at a steaming mug of black coffee as Tanner’s brother shifted uncomfortably in his seat. As soon as he set eyes on Van, Zoe, and Becca he stood, looking like a man who’d been given a final reprieve.
“Oh, Van,” her mom slurred. “I’m so sorry.” She put her mug on the table, her hand shaking enough to send some hot liquid sloshing over the side. Her chair scraped against the tiled floor as she tried to stand, lurching to the left before walking to Van and hugging her, putting almost her entire weight against Van’s shoulders.