His yearbook sat on a shelf next to a copy of The Grapes of Wrath. She brushed a finger along the spine. “I never got a yearbook.”
“No?”
Her father had refused to pay for any of the extra stuff not covered by their tax dollars.
He pulled it off the shelf and the spine creaked when he opened the stiff, laminated cover. “You can look at it if you want.”
Signatures scattered around the cover page. If she had gotten a yearbook, would anyone have signed hers?
She recognized the names and skimmed through the pictures. The sight of familiar halls and gymnasiums made her smile.
“I used to love school,” she admitted. “My teachers were so nice to me.”
He wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder as she turned the pages. She laughed when they got to the M’s.
There was Finn, followed by Luke, both looking incredibly handsome and baby-faced. On the next page, she found Giovanni.
He whistled. “Ain’t he a looker?”
“You look like such a player.”
“How about this beauty?” He dragged his finger over to her picture. “Erin Montgomery. I’ll be sure to write.” he read the quote and looked at her in question.
She flushed, feeling foolish and unsuccessful where any dreams were concerned. She was supposed to leave after graduation but something always kept her and her plans never worked out.
The smile she wore in the photo sat like glass on her face, fragile and transparent. She recalled how much she dreaded the end of senior year, never sure what would happen to her after graduation.
“I was so scared,” she whispered, remembering the heavy weightlessness of that moment, the thought that she could simply drift away and never return, anchored by the fear that she might never leave due to the sense of obligation she felt to stay.
“Why?”
Her father refused to help her with college and she needed to find a job if she wanted to move out, but she had no real training. For years, she made pathetic wages, which was why she never made it out of Jasper Falls. “I was supposed to leave.”
“Where did you want to go?”
“It didn’t matter. I just wanted to go away.”
That was when her life started spiraling. Finn decided he was going to take over the lumberyard, which meant he was never going to move out of Jasper Falls. If she left, they would have no future. It was the beginning of their end.
Summers had always been awful, because she spent more time at home. When school ended, her life became an endless summer.
“What are you thinking about?”
She shut the book. “Nothing good.”
He turned her to face him and looped his arms around her shoulders, pressing his forehead against hers. “It’s in the past, Erin. None of us were totally happy then. And I don’t know anyone who’s doing everything they thought they’d be doing now.”
“You are. You’re following your dreams and perusing a comedy career.”
“I bombed my last show.”
She frowned, guilt slicing through her. “At O’Malley’s?”
“No. A show I did in the Bronx.”
“When were you in New York?”
“Last week.”
“You left?” The steadiness she usually found in his arms disappeared as a sense of having the rug pulled out from under her left her emotionally flailing for reassurance.
Panic welled in her. He’d left the state without even telling her? He hadn’t even said goodbye.
“Only for two days. The show didn’t go well.”
“You were gone for two days and didn’t tell me. What if the show had gone well? Would you have stayed?”
“If they offered me another gig, I probably would’ve taken the job. This is how I make a living, Erin.”
Just like that, he would have left. No goodbye, no note.
A knock came from the door. “Dinner’s ready,” Mariella called.
Erin turned to leave and he grabbed her arm. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“You just left.”
“For a job. I came back.”
Her mind flashed to a forgotten memory and she was standing in her father’s bedroom staring down at her mother’s empty drawers. Then she was crying on the front porch watching Harrison drive away. “I can’t have this discussion here.”
“What discussion? Erin, I’m a little confused?”
“Me too.” She left his bedroom and visited the powder room to wash her hands before dinner.
As she stared in the mirror at her reflection, she noticed how shaken she appeared. She needed to pull herself together. His family was out there, and it would be nice if she didn’t make a bad impression for a change.
Blowing out a breath, she stuffed down all her insecurities and tried not to worry about how much time she and Giovanni had left before he moved on. She didn’t say much at dinner, but there was never an awkward silence. The food was delicious, but she didn’t have much of an appetite.
On the drive home, Giovanni kept looking at her, his easygoing expression morphing into a straight scowl by the time they reached her house.