“Excuse you, I’m hilarious.”
“Sam.”
I sighed. “What do you want me to say, Ryan? Do you want me to tell you how terrified I am? That the mere thought of losing you is all I can think about? Vadoma showed me your death. She showed me that you died. But you want to know what really got to me? It was first day she presented herself to us. When she came to Castle Lockes. When she said Ruv was my true cornerstone. Not you.”
“That’s bullshit,” he growled. “He’s not your cornerstone. He isn’t—”
“I know that. But she also pointed out that you will die. No matter what, one day, you will die and I will still be here. If we survive this, if we can kick Myrin’s ass and save the world and what the fuck ever, you will still die before me. You will age, and I will be trapped like I am now, stuck in youth while you grow older. You’re human. I am too, but I’m a wizard. My magic will keep me here, as I am now, and I will spend more of my life without you than I ever would with you. And I am ashamed of the fact that I never realized it until she pointed it out. I can’t stand the thought of it.” My breath hitched in my chest. “So yes, Ryan. I was shown your death. I was shown you on a slab of stone, the life gone from you, and I panicked, okay? Because I couldn’t let it happen. I won’t let it happen. People have told me that my destiny is set in stone, but stone crumbles. I don’t care what it is. I don’t care if it’s Vadoma. Or the star dragon. Or all the gods put together. I will defy them all to keep you safe.”
“Sam,” he said, voice hoarse. He took a step toward me, but I held a hand up, making him stop. I needed to get this all out before I couldn’t say it anymore.
“You told me once, back in a dragon’s keep, that you looked upon the stars and wished for nothing more than me. But what if wishing for me will only hurt more in the end? Because of me, either you will die at the hands of Myrin or the Darks, or you will age and watch me stay the same. How is that fair to you?”
“It is still my choice,” Ryan said. “And if I had to do it again, I would choose you. Every time, I would choose you. You exasperate me. You anger me. Even now, I am so angry with you, but I would do it all again.”
“You are a fool.”
“Maybe. But I would rather be a fool with you than one without.”
I groaned. “Dude. What the hell. That was terrible.”
He rolled his eyes. “It’s true.”
“That sounded like a line from The Butler and the Manticore.”
He squinted at me. “I’m still confused whether that’s actually a real book or not.”
“I don’t even know,” I assured him. “But that’s not the point!”
“Then what is?”
I stared at him. And— “Well shit. I forgot. What were we talking about again?”
“You sounded like you were trying to go the self-sacrificing route and break up with me to save us both the heartache of an inevitable end.”
“Oh. Right.” I took a deep breath. “I’m breaking up with you.”
He snorted. “Yeah. Nice try.”
“I’m being serious! I’m trying to save you.”
“I decline.”
I frowned. “You… decline… me breaking up with you? How does that even make sense?”
“Oh, because breaking up with me makes sense? I’m your cornerstone, Sam. I’m not going anywhere.”
“That’s because you’re a fucking idiot.”
“What can you do?”
I scowled at him. “You’re the most annoying knight I’ve ever met! Let me break up with you like a normal person!”
“Sam, absolutely nothing about us is normal.”
“I hate you so much right now, you don’t even know.”
“I don’t like you very much right now either if it’s any consolation.”