She kicked me harder. “Of course it is, you idiot. Stop being a little bitch. Sit up.”
“I’d rather die, thanks. It’s—would you stop kicking me!” I knocked her foot away as I sat up. She patted the carpet next to her. I looked longingly at the door, planning an escape. But this was Jessie Alexander. If I tried to run, she’d chase after me and kick my ass. I crawled toward her, sitting against my bed next to her. I refused to look at the book in her lap.
She said, “Gavin’s pretty great.”
“He’s all right, I guess.”
“Glad you think so. Want some advice?”
“If I say no, you’re going to tell me anyway, aren’t you.”
“You know me so well. Say yes. After all, who else do you know who dated the opposite sex for a long time before going queer?”
“Ox,” I said promptly. “And didn’t Mark have a girlfriend or something at one point? And I think my mother had a bit of a crush on Ox’s mom. Chris and Tanner. Sort of. I have no idea what they’re actually doing.”
“No one does. But it works for them, so who cares. And none of those people are sitting next to you, so let’s pretend I’m the only one who can help you.”
I laid my head on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. “I will pay you any amount of money to not have this conversation.”
“I’m a Bennett,” she said dryly. “I have more money than I know what to do with.”
I loved her. Even though she was currently pissing me off, I loved her. “Bennett, huh?”
“Yup. You’re overthinking this.”
“How can I not? Did you see page seventy-six?”
“No. Why? What’s on page seventy-six?” She opened the book again until she found the right page. “Wow. Okay. Holy crap. Don’t try that for at least six months. And make sure you drink plenty of water beforehand.”
I moaned again.
She closed the book and tossed it over her head. It landed on the bed out of sight. “You know how I don’t like bullshit?”
“You picked the wrong pack if that’s the case.”
She ignored me. “I prefer being blunt. Obfuscating is pointless. Say what you mean. Don’t dance around it. You care about him.”
I blinked. “Well, yeah. I wouldn’t have gone after him like I did. Is that it? Oh man, that was easier than I thought. Thanks. You can go—”
“You more than care about him. And remember what I said about bullshit.”
Goddammit. “Yeah. I… guess I do.”
She was quiet. Then, “Do you love him?”
“I think so,” I whispered. “I don’t know how it happened. Or why. Or even when.”
She pulled my hand into her lap and traced the lines on my palm with her fingernail. “I saw it, you know.”
“Saw what?”
“The look on your face in Caswell. When Gavin left with Livingstone. You were devastated.”
I tried hard not to think about that moment. How lost I was. How quickly my heart had been torn from my chest. It’d only taken minutes. “I didn’t know what was happening. He was a wolf. He was a man. Then he was gone.”
“It hurt.”
I grunted. “Yeah. It did.”