“Dad was already dead.”
“Yeah. But he didn’t know that. Not until he got to Green Creek.”
Kelly sighed. “That means he’s been an Omega for a long time. Explains a lot if you think about it. It’s weird, though.”
“What is?” Joe asked.
“How connected we all are. Bennetts and Livingstones. No matter how hard we fight against it, it’s always there.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
They both looked at me. Kelly said, “Why?”
“Because it was all for nothing. You heard him in there. He doesn’t want… this. Our pack.” I almost didn’t say it. But then, “Me. This. Whatever this is. And I don’t care anymore.”
Joe snorted. “Yeah. Okay, Carter. You keep telling yourself that.”
I glared at him. “I don’t.”
Kelly squinted at me. “It’s like Mark and Gordo all over again.”
I reared back. “It’s not like—”
Joe rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Huh. I never thought about it that way. That’s… disturbing. But accurate. Grumpy asshole. Self-sacrificing asshole. Yeah. Okay. I see it now.”
I scowled at them. “I will fuck the both of you up, don’t think I won’t.”
“You look like the guy parents tell their children to stay away from,” Joe said. “It’s the beard. It’s kind of gross.”
“Fuck off, Joe.”
He grinned at me, and it was like we were kids again, just the three of us, and nothing had ever hurt us.
I said, “I know you’re angry with me. I know you don’t understand. I know part of you probably even hates me. But I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I could keep you safe. You…. Shit has happened. To all of us. And all I wanted to do was to stop it from ever happening again. You could have Ox. You could have Robbie. You
could have your pack. I’m your big brother. It’s my job to make sure nothing happens to you.”
“What about you?” Joe asked. “Who’s supposed to take care of you?”
“I… I don’t….”
“Because that’s bullshit,” Joe said. “No offense—you know what? Fuck that. All the offense. You’re an idiot, Carter. Like, the biggest idiot I’ve ever known in my life, and I’ve known a lot of them.”
“Damn right,” Kelly snapped.
“Yeah, you’ve got a point,” Joe said. “You’re our big brother. But that’s as far as it goes. Because it’s not just one way. We’re supposed to protect each other. That’s what brothers do.”
“That’s what pack does—”
“I’m not talking about pack,” Joe said sharply. “I’m talking about you and me and Kelly. No matter what we’ve done, no matter what we’ve seen, it’s always been the three of us. I never lost sight of that. Kelly didn’t either. Why did you? And don’t think it’s because we couldn’t understand. I was away from Ox for over three years. Robbie was taken from Kelly for thirteen months. We understand more than anyone else what it’s like, Carter. And you’d just got done being an Omega, and you decided to run the risk of losing yourself again. For what? For Gavin? Do you really think he’d want that for you?”
“He doesn’t want shit from me,” I muttered.
Kelly shook his head. “You can’t believe that.”
“You heard what he said.”
“I heard someone who’s scared,” Joe said. “Someone who’s been lost for a long time. He can’t trust us because he can’t trust himself. You know what that’s like. You were an Omega too. How much it fucks with you. He’s doing what he can to keep his head above water. He’s not living, Carter. He’s surviving. And he’s lashing out because he’s trying to do what he can to protect you. He cares about you. You know that. I know you do.”