“What did he say?” I asked hoarsely.
“A boy.”
“I… wow.”
Kelly nodded. “Bambi came through like a champ. She was already barking orders by the time they let us see her, and Carter, oh my god. This kid, man. This tiny little kid. He looks like Rico. It’s… intense. And Rico, he was next to Bambi, and the way he looked at her. Like she was everything to him. I watched as he took this wet cloth and pressed it against her forehead. It was kind. And loving. And you could see from the look on his face that he couldn’t believe what was happening, but in the best way possible.” He looked off into the trees. “His name is Josh.”
“Josh,” I whispered.
Kelly said, “Joshua Thomas Espinoza.”
I jerked my head toward him.
“She asked Mom.” Kelly smiled quietly. “Said that even though she never met him, she thought she loved him. She said it was a gift to the wolves. Mom cried, but you could tell they were good tears, you know? I think people forget that it’s okay to cry when you’re sad, but it’s also okay to cry when you’re happy. It made her happy. For a little bit at least.”
I hung my head.
“And for a moment,” Kelly continued, “I could pretend all was right in the world. It was a lie, of course, but I tried to make myself believe it wasn’t. It was harder than I thought it would be. Because even though it was this great thing, there was still a piece of us missing. We weren’t whole.”
The door opened. Joe came out onto the porch. He looked at the two of us but didn’t speak. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the side of the cabin. Watching. Waiting.
Kelly said, “I hated you that day,” and I could taste the bitterness in his voice. “I didn’t want to, but I did. You should have been there. You should have been right by our side. Making jokes. Taking pictures. Demanding that you be the first to get to hold the kid. But you weren’t.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Do you mean it?”
“I think so.”
He shook his head as he glanced at Joe. “I’ve tried for a long time to understand, to see it from your perspective. And every time I do, I can’t get past the fact that you just… left. That even in your grief, you thought you were doing the right thing. Leaving a note. A video. As if that would be enough.”
“I love you,” I pleaded with him. “The both of you. You and Joe. More than anything. I thought I was doing the right thing. You’d just gotten Robbie back. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy.”
His eyes flashed. “Really.”
“Yes.”
“How could I ever be happy without you?”
And oh, how that broke me. I wrapped my arms around my stomach, bending over, trying to catch my breath. I heard Joe step out into the snow, but I held my hand up, wanting them to keep away from me. I couldn’t handle them touching me. Not right now.
Kelly said, “When we got here, when we found that house, when we found your truck, all I could smell was blood and death. I thought we were too late. That….” He swallowed thickly. “I never want to feel like that again.”
“It’s his house, isn’t it?” Joe asked.
I nodded miserably. “It was. At one point.” And then, “Dad knew about him. About this place.”
“What?” Joe whispered.
“Gavin said Dad came here when he was a kid. Told him about wolves. And magic. Where he’d come from.”
“Jesus Christ,” Kelly muttered. He looked haunted. “Just when I think we’ve found out all there is to know about him.”
“Gavin came to Green Creek. When we were hunting Richard Collins. He was one of the Omegas that Ox and the others fought against.”
Joe’s eyes filled with red. “He what?”
“No. Not like… not like that. He didn’t hurt anyone. He only joined up with them to try and find Dad.”