“No,” Anna tells him. “And I think he’s pierced.”
“Really?” Creed asks. “I almost want to see.”
“I can show you,” Rob offers. “It’s a Prince Albert.”
“This is what my life has come to?” Creed asks. “Asking to see penis on the Internet? My God. How is JJ going to survive knowing his father is a cock hound? I’m going to be just like Bear and Otter.”
My computer beeps again. “Speaking of,” I mutter. “What did you all do?”
They all smile at me. My heart sinks.
Bear and Otter appear on the screen. I sigh and connect them with the rest. “Kid,” Bear says, “I just realized I haven’t seen this… uh. Tyson?”
“Yes, Bear?”
“Why is there a naked man standing next to you?”
“Prince Albert,” Anna says.
“I might be gay now,” Creed sighs.
“Live sex show,” Sandy says.
“Because this is the sort of thing that happens to me,” I tell Bear.
“I wish I could find that hard to believe,” Otter says. “But I’ve lived with you both too long.”
“This is going to be a train wreck,” Corey says. “Rob, if you value your life, you will run away as fast as you can.”
“I’m not scared,” Rob says.
“You will be,” Otter and I say at the same time, trying to sound like Yoda. Instead, we both sound like we’re receiving our first enemas.
“Goddamn Star Wars,” Bear mutters. “Those movies have ruined the both of you.”
“You shut your mouth,” Otter says with a frown.
“As fun as this is,” I tell them all, “and really, so fun, but why are you all bugging me? I have finals to study for.” Not that I need to do much studying. I’m like Stella. I got my groove back. For the most part. And that might be the gayest thing I’ve ever said aside from the time I complimented Dom on his penis. Yikes.
“Just… wanted to see what you’re doing,” Bear says, averting his eyes. “About stuff. And things.”
Otter sighs. “You can never be subtle about surprises, can you?”
“I am the absolute definition of subtle,” Bear says, somehow managing to maintain a straight face even with all the bullshit he just spewed. Subtlety and Bear Thompson do not go together.
“I need to buy you a dictionary for Christmas because I’m not sure you know what that word means.” Otter winks at me.
“Are you mocking me?” Bear asks, sounding appropriately outraged.
“I wouldn’t even dream of it.”
“I’m going to kick you in the—”
“No domestic violence,” I say, interrupting Bear before thirty minutes have passed with him starting to threaten Otter but somehow ending up discussing the merits of grated cheese. You know as well as I do that it wouldn’t be that hard for him to get there. “What surprise is Bear supposed to be hiding?”
“Me,” a voice says from behind me, and I close my eyes. My heart quakes and I have to remember how to breathe. Because I’ve learned again. I really have. It’s taken four months… and maybe I didn’t need to do it. That’s the kicker. Maybe I didn’t need to leave at all. Maybe I could have found a way to stand on my own surrounded by those I love. It would have been possible and it sure as shit would have saved a whole hell of a lot of heartache.
You guys are probably going to be pissed at me, I had told them. Bear and Otter. Dom. The day we got back from the road trip. And you’re probably not going to want this to happen, but I think it has to. You all are everything to me. You always have been. But I need to make sure that I can do this on my own. I need to make sure that—Bear, I know. Just let me finish. Please.