“So are you going up?” Jeff asked after a moment, obviously confused by her behavior.
“No…yes. Could you call him to tell him that I’m on my way?”
“I’ll call him, but he might not hear. If they’re working, Chris can’t hear the phone sometimes. That’s why he uses the list.”
Megan nodded in understanding as she waited for Jeff to release the control on the private elevator. Given Jeff’s warning, she half expected to hear music when she stepped off the elevator, but the loft was as silent as a grave. For a second, she wondered if it was empty. Then she saw Seth and Christian sitting over on the couch. Both their gazes were on her as she stepped off the elevator.
“Hey, Megan,” Seth said. Even though he greeted her with a smile he stood as though he were leaving.
“Hi,” Megan said with a tremulous smile as he walked toward her.
“Later, Chris.”
Christian grunted incoherently from where he sat over on the couch. His stare hadn’t left her since she’d walked off the elevator. She looked at Seth uncertainly as he passed. “You don’t have to leave on my account, Seth.”
Seth threw a quick backward glance at Christian and grinned wryly. He pushed the call button for the elevator. “Don’t worry about it. He’s not much good to me today, anyway.”
The elevator door closed and Megan turned around, acutely aware that she was alone with the man who sat broodingly over on the couch. Neither of them spoke as she walked over to him. She studied him anxiously. He looked much the same as he had when she’d seen him earlier at church.
“You look tired,” she said.
He gave a small shrug. His eyes on her were alight with emotion. But still, he didn’t speak.
“I…wanted to apologize,” she said.
“Why?” Christian asked bluntly.
“For saying those things I said last night. I didn’t mean them. I was just feeling sort of…overwhelmed by everything.”
“It’s not a wonder. I knew you were feeling vulnerable,” he said dully.
“Oh.” Megan paused, feeling awkward. “But you’re still mad at me?”
“How in the hell could you think I was mad you?” He asked so starkly that Megan started. “I can’t understand why you’re always apologetic. I’ve never seen you do a thing that deserved an apology on your part.”
Her mouth fell open in shock. “I slapped you. I said you were manipulative and…sneaky,” she reminded him.
“Christ.” He swept back his tousled hair with restless fingers. His eyes blazed when he looked at her again. “I was mad in the beginning, that’s true. But deep down, I knew that you were running scared. I even understood why. I got it.”
“So what’s wrong?” she asked with mounting uneasiness.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, incredulous that she would ask such a question when the answer was so obvious. “What’s wrong is that I got it. I understood why you were so upset. But I didn’t pause and listen. I didn’t listen to my better nature. What’s wrong is that I made love to you for the first time in anger…on a couch… I hadn’t even taken a shower, for God’s sake,” He paused for a moment, seeming to choke on his words. “I knew what the consequences were, and I just went ahead anyway. Heaven forbid that anyone else’s needs should stop me when I was fully cocked and loaded and ready to go.”
For a few seconds, Megan just stared at him in amazement. But when understanding dawned, her disbelief turned to anger.
“Don’t you dare, Christian Lasher.” His eyes widened slightly when he heard the low fury vibrating her voice.
Tears flooded her eyes, but she’d never been so angry in her life. When she saw his confusion, her anger only amplified. She pointed at him accusingly.
“Don’t you dare put down last night. It was special and rare. Maybe you’re thinking I’m not much of an expert, but I can only tell you how I feel. If you’re even concerned about that at this point, instead of being wrapped up in some fantasy of how you think I should feel.”
He looked slain.
“How…how do you feel?” he asked slowly after a moment.
He sat up straighter, his gaze narrowing on her. Megan noticed the subtle shift in him and she paused in the midst of her tirade. She became aware that he was suddenly listening with focused attention. It made her voice soften, but her shoulders were still held back stiffly.
“You made me feel like a very desirable woman. It was what I needed. It was what I needed more than anything.”