She groaned at the loss of his touch. Then tears pricked her eyes as she realized what was coming. Their relationship had to end. She’d had this moment many times before with
other guys, but for some reason it felt worse to lose Brad.
“I understand,” she whispered, surprised at the ache she already felt. “I’m just not willing to give you what you want.”
“No, I don’t want you to... I mean... I can wait.”
“Wait?” Blood pounded in her ears. “But—“
“I love you, Grace.”
Grace’s jaw opened and closed like a guppy. Her heart thudded in her chest and clenched with longing—a deep desire to believe his words. She hadn’t felt this way since that fateful night with Mark. Alarm sirens screamed inside her head.
“I need to go.” She leapt toward the door.
“Grace—stop!” He was following her outside. “You can’t walk home at night alone. Let me walk with you. We can talk on the way.”
“No... I don’t want to talk.” Her voice was shaking, as were her hands. Her entire nervous system had gone haywire.
“Okay. I won’t talk. I’m sorry I said that. I thought I’d waited long enough to tell you, but I won’t say it again. Please? Okay? Just forget I said it.”
She didn’t answer. She couldn’t answer. The old wounds from Mark’s harsh words gaped open, raw and bleeding.
I really like Brad. I didn’t mean to hurt him. Will he think I’m cold and manipulative? I don’t think I can bear to hear it from him.
True to his word, Brad didn’t speak to her on the twenty-minute walk. When she reached her door, trying to escape inside, he pulled her against him and held her tight. It felt so good to be in his arms it hurt. His hand smoothed her hair as his lips pressed against the top of her head.
“Grace... Don’t freak out on me. Nothing has changed. We’re still good together.”
When she tore herself from his arms, it felt like pulling damp skin from a freezing metal pole. She had fought back her tears as she rushed through the door to the safety of her home. Inside the heavy wooden door, grateful no one was there to see her, she calmed herself down, resolving to do what had to be done. The next time I see Brad, I have to break up with him.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Katy.”
Grace couldn’t possibly explain everything to Katy, but she knew she couldn’t safely stay in a relationship with Brad. This Friday she had to do it. Brad said he loved her and claimed he wouldn’t push her into physical intimacy, but if she believed him, she might actually fall in love with him. And if she fell in love, she wouldn’t have the willpower to say no to him. And after she gave in, he would break up with her, and leave her a ruined mess. If she was honest with herself, she should’ve broken up long ago. Brad was just too likeable. But it would hurt less now, than later.
They were going to be alone at his apartment Friday night, and she knew exactly what would happen. She would let him kiss her, but she would keep her head about her. He would repeat that declaration of love, and this time he would try to talk her into being intimate, just like every other guy in the past. And the moment he pushed her, she would use that as an excuse to break up with him.
The best thing to do is get it over with... like ripping off a bandage.
She blinked hard as her eyes stung. I’m really going to miss him.
*****
Brad had a sick feeling in his gut, and he didn’t think he’d caught the stomach virus he’d diagnosed at least forty times in the hospital emergency room earlier in the day. No, this uneasy mood started after his earlier phone conversation with Grace. It was Friday night and he was waiting for her to show up at his apartment, fighting against a sense of impending doom. She’d been acting strangely for the past week, ever since he’d accidentally said, “I love you.” She’d gone a bit wacky on him at the time, but the next day on the phone she’d seemed back to normal. He’d hoped his slip-up hadn’t caused any permanent damage.
Brad had dated a lot of girls, but Grace was special. He still remembered the first time he laid eyes on her on a hiking trail with her three tall-and-lanky sisters and two girlfriends towering over her five-foot-two frame. She was tiny, but her personality was huge. She was the boss, and she knew it. She was cute and fun with boundless energy and a contagious enthusiasm for life, though she had a tendency to be a bit absent-minded at times.
He fell for her the first time she winked at him with her gorgeous hazel eyes when they met on a hiking trail. It was the perfect way to meet, since she loved sports as much as he did. Every other girl he’d dated had simply tolerated his interest in sports, but Grace was downright passionate about the subject. She especially loved baseball—his own personal favorite—and he hadn’t found a single outdoor activity she wouldn’t try. She was fearless. With parachuting and bungee-jumping already marked off her bucket list, he wondered what dangerous sport she would attempt next. But most of all, Grace was the kindest girl he’d ever met—the kind of person who would give you her shoes if you needed them and walk home barefooted.
Brad knew he had to tread carefully to keep her. In fact her sister, Olivia, had pulled him aside one night at the weekly Marshall family Sunday dinner to warn him he would face a challenge if he didn’t want to be thrown out in the cold. Evidently, Grace had a track record of dating one guy for a short time before dumping him and moving on to another. Olivia offered no explanation, so he didn’t know how to avoid becoming another statistic in Grace’s dating life. But he tried his best.
He always treated her with the respect she deserved. He was very careful not to pressure her physically, although she was really hard to resist with such an amazing body. It was all he could do to keep his hands from straying below her neck, but something had told him that would be a death sentence.
The doorbell rang and his heart skipped a beat. Maybe it was all in his head. Maybe everything would be fine. Maybe he wasn’t going to have his heart cut out and handed to him on a platter. But when he grabbed the knob to open the door, a chill ran right up his arm and into his spine. He shivered as the door opened and Grace swept into the room.
Brad swallowed hard as Grace stepped inside, looking a nervous as a bird in a roomful of cats. Once again he berated himself for his words last weekend. Why did I tell her I loved her? I knew she wasn’t ready. Eight weeks of careful work to build up her trust, down the drain with three little words.
“I’ve missed you, Grace. I was worried when you didn’t answer my calls last night.”