“This.” Liam holds up a piece of paper and shakes it.
I walk over and pull it out of his hands. It’s the contract for the venue. As I read it my stomach drops.
“I… I… don’t –“
“You’re right, you don’t. This is bullshit, Katelyn, aren’t you paying attention?”
“I am,” I say with a shaky voice.
“What is it?” Harrison asks.
“Seems Katelyn has doubled booked us for the rest of the tour. We are supposed to be in Colorado and Seattle tomorrow night.”
“How is that possible?” Harrison stands and walks over to take the paper from Liam. He reads it over, looking at me for answers that I can’t give. I never set any dates in Colorado so I’m not sure how they ended up with a contract.
“Says we lose ten grand if we don’t show.”
“Yep sure does.”
My heart drops and dread takes over my body. An error somehow on my part just cost the guys ten grand.
Harrison looks from Liam to me, and I know this time he’s not coming to my defense. I’ve ruined any chance of having him in my corner when I told him that I couldn’t be with him. He hands me the contract and leaves the room, followed by Jimmy and lastly, Liam. I jump when the door slams shut and don’t even bother stopping the tears when they flow.
I lie on my bed, with my hands behind my head, replaying the last few days over and over in my head. Now that the tour is over, albeit cut short, reality is jumping up and down, reminding me that school is about to start, that I have to be a responsible parent. My circle of friends, people I’ve depended on for so long, are living their lives in L.A. while Quinn and I live the high life in Beaumont. I shouldn’t have to remind myself that this is what I wanted. I just thought things would be different.
Hell, I don’t know what I thought, but definitely not this. I’m not gonna lie, I want her in my bed at night. I want to wake up and find her cooking breakfast for our kids. I want to come home at night and have everyone gathering around the table for dinner. But that’s not going to happen. She’s made herself very clear and I can’t continue putting myself out there for the rejection. A man can only take so much in his lifetime.
I look at the clock and sigh heavily. This year I’m taking Quinn to buy his school supplies. Usually my mom, or Meghan, his nanny, has done it and now it’s my turn. It’s time for me to grow up, I guess. I get up, get dressed and slip into my boots, looking down at my attire. I know Katelyn snubs her nose at the way I look. I’ve seen her do it and that’s fine. I’m not going to change for her or anyone. I like my t-shirts, khaki shorts, beanie and either my boots or Vans. Hell, I’ve been known to wear Chucks before. Aren’t those supposed to be considered high-class-guy-fashion or something?
I knock on Quinn’s door and open it, sticking my head inside. He’s sitting in his beanbag chair playing in his Xbox.
“Wanna go school shopping?”
“Sure,” he says as he powers down his console. It’s a proud dad moment when he doesn’t argue or roll his eyes. I know those days are coming and honestly, I don’t know what I’ll do the first time he smarts off to me. He walks ahead, his clothes matching mine, everything except for the hat. He likes to keep his hair styled, something I never did at his age.
Quinn is nothing like me. He’s confident and self-assured, making friends easily. I was shy and awkward, always alone, never fitting in. I thank my lucky stars that he’s different from me. I’m not sure how’d I’d handle things if he had a childhood like I did.
We walk to our car; the non-descript family car that I bought when we moved here so we wouldn’t draw unwanted attention with something flashy. I still have my motorcycle in the garage, but haven’t really taken it out much, aside from a few rides with Liam. I’m trying to live a normal life, one away from the balance in my checkbook, and give Quinn a quiet life, which is why I let Meghan go and didn’t ask her to move with us. Quinn has spent far too much time in her care because of my job, and now Liam’s provided me an opportunity to be home more.
Driving into town, I can’t help but look over at him while he watches the scenery pass him by. He’s well adjusted and acts like nothing bothers him and I want to believe that, but sometimes question if he needs something else, mainly a mom. Not that I’m going to run out and get married, but maybe bringing Meghan here is an option.
I pull into the parking lot of the mall and look around at all the other parents taking their kids shopping. Now I know why I never cared when my mom took Quinn shopping. This place is nuts.
“Grandma sent me a list of things she usually buys you. She didn’t tell me the mall would be like this, though.”
Quinn starts to laugh as he gets out of the car. I follow, locking it behind us. “It’s not so bad. Grandma always bought me ice cream though.” He looks up at me and bats his eyes.
I shake my head. “Of course she did,” I say as I throw my arm around him. We walk toward the lion’s den, the James men, brave… and incredibly stupid.
Quinn walks from store to store with me following behind, carrying his bags. I never knew my son was such a shopper; that definitely has to be Yvie rubbing off on him. I can’t remember a time when I’d step foot in a shopping center. They scare me. People just stare at me. We manage to get everything on my mom’s list and then some.
“Hey, Dad?”
“What’s up, bud?”
“Are you and Katelyn going to be boyfriend and girlfriend?”
I put the boots back on the shelf and try to compose my thoughts. This is exactly why I’ve never brought anyone home. I don’t want Quinn getting attached to anyone. Katelyn’s around because she works for the band and because of Liam and Josie, but he knows I like her.