“Can’t or won’t.”
“Is there a difference?” I ask.
“Can’t means there’s something physically holding you back from me and I know that’s not true
. I can feel it when you kiss me and just now, the way you were touching me, exploring with your hands.
“Won’t means you won’t give in to temptation, but we already know that’s not true. You’ve let me kiss you. You’ve let me hold you against my body. Neither of these are valid reasons.
“I know you’ve lost your husband. I know every day is a battle for you because you miss him. I’m not trying to take his place with you or the twins. I just want to fit into your life.”
“You make everything sound so easy.” Harrison pulls my hand into his.
“It is,” he says with such confidence.
“It’s not.”
“Only because you don’t allow it.”
“Our lifestyles are different. I’m a mom of two who needs to be home at all times. You’re a drummer in a band who leaves all the time and spends months on the road. You have all these women throwing themselves at you, and I wouldn’t be able to trust the situation. I’ve seen it first hand. I don’t know how Josie does it, but I wouldn’t be able to. We’re too different.”
“Different is good.”
“No, different causes problems. There are expectations that have to be followed.”
“Expectations?” he questions, raising his eyebrow.
Harrison stands in front of me making me look up at him. “People have expectations of me,” I say quietly.
He leans over me, one arm resting on the arm of the couch. “You give a shit about what people think?”
My throat constricts because I hate that I do care about what people think. I nod and break eye contact because I don’t think I can take the look he’ll give me.
“That’s such bullshit. You won’t be with me because you’re worried about what people will think? What if they think ‘wow look at Katelyn, she’s found someone to love her and the girls, or is that not good enough for you?”
I look at him when he says love. He’s got to be joking. No one can love a widow with two kids. “Love?” I question, wanting to know his answer.
“Yeah, love. I can see myself falling in love with you and as much as I’m trying not to, it’s not working.” He says quietly. He sits down next to me and leans back into the couch. “I don’t know what else to say. I shouldn’t have to sell myself to you. You either like me or you don’t. Thing is, you can’t lie, I know you feel something, you just have to let yourself believe I’m good enough to be a part of your life.”
His phone rings again. I throw my hands up in the air. “Seriously, answer your damn phone.” He rolls his eyes and picks it up.
“Hello… yeah I remember… how’d you get my number?” Harrison has a confused look on his face. He bites his lip as he listens to his caller. “Okay… please don’t call me again.” He hangs up and puts his phone on his pocket.
“Who was that?” I ask even though it’s none of my business.
He shrugs.
“See this is one of the reasons. I know it was a woman, I could hear her whiney voice. Has she been the one calling you for the last hour?”
“It doesn’t matter who it was. What matters is that you don’t want to be with me, yet you’re still sitting in this room when you should be doing your job and getting things set up for tonight. I was in here because I can’t sleep on the bus. The room is yours now.”
I’m taken by his harsh tone, but this is what I’ve asked for. My lips form a thin line as I fight the urge to say something stupid. I nod and stand up. I look at Harrison, but he’s looking at his phone, ignoring me.
The door swings open and Liam barges in with the biggest pissed off look I’ve ever seen. Jimmy is following behind him. I look from Liam to Harrison, who doesn’t acknowledge the guys being in here.
“What have you done?” Liam asks in an incredulous tone.
“What are you talking about?”