Once I’ve banged on the toms for the last time, I stand and walk to the front, tossing my sticks to some people in the crowd. As soon as I’m off stage, I pull out my phone and much to my surprise, Whiskey responded.
Whiskey Girl: I’ll be awake
That’s enough to make my heart pound with anticipation. I shower quickly in the dressing room and hightail my ass onto the bus. Elle is there, talking on the phone, the bus otherwise empty other than the driver. I have never been so eager to get on the road before, but this time I know it puts me one day closer to heading back to Bailey and my Whiskey.
Normally, I chill out in the front of the bus but tonight I head to my bunk. With my headphones on, I press Whiskey’s name and wait for her to answer.
“Gone are the nights when you’d get done at one or two in the morning, huh?” is how she answers.
I can’t help but laugh. “We aren’t the headliners of this tour We play for about an hour and then we drive to our next stop.”
“Where are you?”
“Ohio. We have a couple more shows and then I’ll have a two-day break. That’s when I’ll come back.”
“You seriously don’t have to, Ajay. Harvey is stupid. I told my dad to fix what he did.”
“I want to, Whiskey.”
“Why bother?”
Because I remembered how much I love you. “Because I have a lot to make up for and even though we’ll be divorced in three months, I’d like us to at least be friends,” I say, knowing full well I’m lying to her. I have no intentions of being her friend. I want a second chance with her even though I don’t deserve one.
“If I tell you we can be friends, will that change your mind?”
“Not in the slightest, Whiskey Girl.”
She sighs and I laugh. “I promise to be that super annoying friend that only comes around when his schedule permits. Besides, if I ditch out, what kind of man does that make me?”
“So, this is a way to fix your image?”
“Only in your eyes. You’re the only one that matters to me.”
She goes quiet before saying, “I don’t want you to get your hopes up, Ajay. You and I, we have vastly different lives and don’t fit together like we once did.”
All I have is hope. “No hope here, just doing my part to make sure Harvey signs off on our divorce. Three months, Whiskey, and then we’ll be on opposite coasts, texting each other late at night when the mood strikes.”
“I have to go, Ajay.” She hangs up before I can tell her goodnight or that I’ll call her again tomorrow and the next day and that I’ll see her soon.
I’m still holding my phone when Keane walks in. “Am I interrupting?”
“Nah, man. Just listening to some music.” He doesn’t say anything as he crawls into his bed. I do turn some music on to drown out the noises from the bus, and against my better judgement, open Facebook, and search for Jamie’s profile. Her name yields no results, so I look for Bailey’s restaurant page and find a few pictures of her there. I type in Dhara’s name and find a ton more photos, some of which are with a little girl who always seems to be holding Whiskey’s hand or be in her arms. I stare at the angelic face, trying to figure out who she is and who she looks like. I see a lot of Whiskey in her, but surely, she’d tell me if she had a daughter. Studying the girl for a little longer, I find myself wondering what our child would look like. Would he or she be tall like me, have Whiskey’s hair, my eyes… or look just like this little girl in the photo.
I end up saving a few of the pictures and setting one of Whiskey as my screensaver. Hers is the face that I want to stare at until I fall asleep.
18
Jamie
The early morning knock at my door sends my heart into a frenzy. I never asked Ajay how he got my number. I wanted to, but in the end, it seemed like a moot point. I’m required to spend time with him so it’s conceivable that his lawyer gave him my number, which he likely got from Fletcher, which under different circumstances would call for me maiming my good friend. Lucky for him, since this whole thing was beyond his control, if it was Fletcher, I’ll forgive him. However, if anyone told Ajay where I live, all bets are off. I hesitate before twisting the knob and opening the door slightly. I’m not ready to let Ajay into my life, that much I know. We can meet occasionally and have a cup of coffee together but hanging out at my house is out of the question. Mostly because this is my space and he’s never been a part of it, but more importantly because of Evelyn. I’m concerned about his reaction in regard to my daughter when I know I shouldn’t be.
Thankfully, when I peer through the tiny crack, it’s Logan. He’s holds up a white bag which can only mean fresh cinnamon rolls from the bakery he passes by on his way here.
“Do I get to come in?” he asks.
“I don’t know. I suppose it depends on what’s in the bag.”
He laughs. “As if I’d come first thing in the morning without breakfast.” He’s right, he wouldn’t. I swing the door open and step aside as he enters.