His face whitens, and my heart constricts.
"I'm begging you. D-Does that tell you how much I understand what I'm asking?"
Silence hangs between us, and my heart thuds harder and harder against my chest. I know there's a chance he'd reject me, and I know that what I'm asking for would be wrong in other people's eyes. I know all of these, but I just don't care—-
"I always keep my word."
Raaf says the words so quietly I barely hear him, and I stare at him, confused and apprehensive. What is he talking about?
He takes my hands, and my chest squeezes when he gently lowers them back to my lap. Does this mean he's turning me down?
I look at him fearfully, but I only end up more confused when I see a faint smile that is almost heartbreakingly boyish trace over his lips.
"It means you're not allowed to cover your mouth."
Uh...
And then I finally remember Gerard, asking him if they'd need earphones...
Oh.
"Do you understand, my dove?"
I can only nod this time, with my throat locked so tightly that I already know it would be impossible to speak.
"And will you promise to be even louder this time?"
My face flames, but I still nod - or rather, just as I'm about to nod, I find myself unable to since his mouth has already covered mine.
I half-expect him to sweep me away with his passion, half-expect him to be wonderfully rough like usual. But at the first touch of his lips, I realize right away that the nightmare is over, and it is now the man of my dreams who's kissing me so, so gently it brings fresh tears to my eyes.
It's my first time to experience this side of him, and the sheer dreaminess of my Raaf leaves me breathless and shaken. He nibbles endlessly on my lips until my entire body is aching for more, but it's only when my fingers helplessly clutch his shirt that he chuckles and finally - oh, finally! - gives me what I want.
His tongue slides in, and I moan at the welcomed intrusion. Every cell of my body is tingling anew, and I feel increasingly lightheaded as his tongue explores every moist inch of my mouth. I love this, oh God, I love this so much, and I love it even more when he starts sucking on my tongue. My hands slide up until I'm gripping the broad muscular slope of his shoulders, and I can only clutch at him more desperately with a whimper when he tells me softly to suck on his tongue.
I feel awkward and shy at first, but then I hear him make a rough sound of pleasure, and the sound unlocks something inside of me. I feel like a goddess of desire incarnate, and I am just sucking and sucking until my Raaf finally wrenches his head away—-
"Fuck, Sara..."
His tone is savage, but his gaze is wild and hungry, and that's more than enough for me to be wild and hungry myself as I drive my fingers through his hair and pull his head back down for a kiss. I just want more and more and more, and I hear him growl when I find myself rubbing my body against him.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck."
I feel the change in him as he roughly brushes my hands away so that he's the one cupping my face as he drives his tongue forcefully back into my mouth. We kiss and we kiss and we kiss again, but then a cry spills out of me as he suddenly grips my hair to yank my head back.
"Is this," he grates out, "how you want it? You're making it fucking impossible for me to be gentle—-"
"Because I don't want it," I hear myself choke out. "I don't want you to be gentle—-"
"Damn you, Sara. Damn you."
There is real anger in his voice, and though it makes fear skitter down my spine, my heart also skips a beat because I know, oh God, I know—-
The moment Raaf hauls me to his lap, I know that for better or for worse I am finally getting what I asked for: the nightmare is back...and it's now time for me to pay the price.
My worlds suddenly feels like it's spinning too fast as Raaf's hand grabs my panties under my dress and rips it off in one go. His gaze locks with mine as his hand moves up my thigh, and I'm unable to look away even as my body jerks at the first brush of his fingers over my sensitive flesh.
"You're wet, my Sara."
He's purring again, and this makes me even wetter.
"Does it turn you on when I'm rough with you?"
My lips part to answer him, but only a gasp comes out because he's already fucking me with his fingers.
Three fingers all at once, oh God.