A part of me prays that he will be gentle, but a larger part of me is mortifyingly thrilled when he starts fucking me like an animal.
My Raaf is no longer a man.
He's not even Mr. Sinister.
When I look into his eyes, all I can see is a six-foot-plus nightmare made real: a monster who thirsts for my tears and feeds on my fears. It knows and wants nothing except the need to fuck my mouth with his equally monstrous cock, and God, oh God, the moment the thought pops out, I know right away I want it, too—-
I want him to force me.
Scare me.
Ruin me.
And he does.
He fucks my mouth so, so hard that the head of his member hits the back of my throat, but the wrongness of this only makes me wetter between my legs. There are times when it's too much that I can't help crying out, but instead of stopping, it only makes him plunge his length in and out of my mouth harder and deeper.
The monster in my Raaf is now completely in control, but instead of wanting it to end, I want it to go on forever. I love how endlessly long he feels inside my mouth, and I love how my lips seem like they're not wide enough because his member is just so big and fat.
I know I shouldn't love the way he's treating me, but I just find myself craving for more even as I lose count of the number of times I gag. I want him so, so much that when he suddenly stiffens and looks down at me with desperate eyes that are tinged with bleakness—-
Oh God.
I know I only need to say a word, and he would put a stop to this, no matter the cost to him.
But the thing is, I don't want to stop, and so I do the only thing I can think of to let him know this.
I suck on the head of his member as hard as I can, telling him without words that I am his to frighten.
I am his to ruin.
And when I hear him release a guttural sound that's almost bestial, I know he understands—-
Aaaaaaah!
Cum shoots down my throat, and I'm taken so completely by surprise I start to choke. I'm seriously afraid I'd run out of breath, but even so, my Raaf refuses to let go, his hips moving wildly as he continues to shoot load after load inside of my mouth.
The pleasure is excruciating, and I find myself crying again as he forces me to swallow every drop of his cum, and I cry some more as I hear his member pop out of my mouth.
I feel like I'm lost in a sexual haze as he pulls me up, and it's only when I hear him speak—-
"I'm sorry, Sara."
—-that I realize he has completely misunderstood me.
"I wish I could tell you this is the last time I'd want to fuck you like that, but I can't—-"
No, no, no.
"There's a part of me that will always be fucked up—-"
I reach up and press my shaking fingers against his lips. "You never answered my question earlier," I remind him jerkily. "Have you ever kidnapped—-"
"Never." His voice is curt, but his gaze is filled with puzzlement. "You are the only one—-"
"And do you know why?"
"We've already talked about this—-"
"I know."
"Then why the fuck—-"
"Because I think it's not the only reason," I whisper.
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"You were right when you said that you're my dream and nightmare come true, but..." I suddenly feel like I'm about to throw up, and it almost makes me want to forget everything. But when I remember how my Raaf looked at me earlier, and it was almost like he had simply been waiting for me to denounce him like I wasn't just as...just as fucked up as he was—-
The words come to me easily, and I hear myself ask, "Has it never occurred to you that maybe, you also kidnapped me because you somehow knew that it would be the same for you?"
"Goddammit, Sara—-"
"I think I can be your dream and nightmare come true, too," I say tremulously.
"Fuck." He runs a hand through the ebony locks of his hair, and it's the first time I've seen my Raaf almost violently agitated. "Do you fucking understand," he asks tautly, "what you're saying? What you're asking?"
The answer to that is why I'm so scared right now.
Because I do know...
I know what I'm asking.
And I know that if I'm wrong about this, I stand to lose my soul.
But if I'm right?
Oh God, if I'm right...
The mere possibility would be a fantasy made real for eternity, mine and his, and it's this that gives me the courage to cup his cheeks and say, "Please take my virginity, Raaf."