She was so fucking beautiful. So forgiving. So strong.
Jareth was right that this place had made me sick, but Gemma...she’d cured me. She’d set me free even while I still lived in hell.
My body hummed with need.
Desire blazed through my veins. The unfinished kiss and unsatisfied lust from earlier this evening returned full force. I wanted her. I wanted her so fucking much.
Turning my back on Jareth, I marched toward her and pulled her close, doing my best not to dislodge the pasta bowls in her hands. Pressing a kiss to her temple, I murmured, “I’m sorry.”
She shivered. “Sorry for what?”
“Everything.”
She laughed once. “That’s a big apology.”
I inhaled her, imprinting her smell, hoping that if I ever had another blank moment, I would always remember. I wouldn’t forget any of this. All this progress. All this truth. I didn’t think I’d have the strength to have such epiphanies all over again.
And this epiphany was big enough to drive a blade straight through my heart.
No matter what happened.
No matter how fucking bad my thoughts became or my past tried to drown me, Gemma would always come first. Jareth was wrong. I wasn’t the one who came first, she did.
She deserved that because it was the only way I could show just how much I loved her.
“I’m sorry for running before.” Nuzzling her hair, I pulled away, uncaring that Jareth watched everything. “I...we need to talk. I need to...explain.”
Her eyes turned soft with gold-flecked hazel. “I’d like that.”
I smiled, doing my best to hide the sudden fear that perhaps I wasn’t ready. I might never be ready. I might never find the words to—
“Is that for us?” Jareth asked, his voice deceptively lazy and cool. “’Cause I’m starving.”
He broke the spell. Gemma stepped away from me and held up the bowls while nudging the pill packet on the carpet with her toe. “It’s the last of my supplies. I figured you had a long hike. You’d want more than just bare necessities.”
Jareth came forward and scooped the painkillers from the floor and took a bowl from Gemma. “Appreciate it.”
It didn’t escape my notice that she tensed when his fingers brushed hers. Or the way her gaze stayed on him the entire time he moved across the room and sat back in his chair by the unlit fireplace.
“It’s okay,” I breathed. “He won’t hurt you.”
She glanced at me as I added, “I won’t hurt you, either. Never again. You have my absolute word. You’re safe...from both of us.”
She nodded slowly, giving me a brave smile. “I know.” Stepping into me, she pecked my cheek before scooting around me and heading toward the coffee table. Placing the two bowls down, she sat and patted the couch beside her.
Jareth poured a handful of painkillers into his mouth and swallowed them dry. Gemma sat prim and regal even in a nightgown hidden beneath a hoodie. A scene of simplicity and normalcy, yet it was as fantastical to me as the books in the library.
My head ached as I headed toward Gem.
My mouth watered for other things than pasta.
My mind still struggled to segment past, present, and future.
But as I sat beside her, as she reached for my hand and handed me a bowl of food she’d prepared, my heart burst inside my chest.
How fucking lucky was I?
A meal.
A meal shared by two people I loved.
A meal that hopefully symbolized something new.
CHAPTER FIVE
I WOKE TO A noise.
Sunlight blinded me from the glass roof of the conservatory, hinting it was early afternoon. Memories of the past few hours came back in pieces.
Sharing a meal with Kas and Jareth. The strained small talk between people who had far too much heaviness to speak about light. And the inevitable exhaustion that ensured we all slinked away to find somewhere to sleep once our stomachs were full.
Kas had waited until Jareth had left the room. Neither of us had asked where he’d sleep, and he hadn’t volunteered that information. I didn’t know how successful I’d be at relaxing with him in the house, but Kas had pulled me into a hug and held me, distracting me from everything else but his smell, his heat, his nearness.
A simple, wonderful hug that I didn’t think he’d ever be capable of.
He’d grunted as if shocked he’d done such a thing.
As if a hug was a different language he’d forgotten how to speak.
I melted into him.
All my worries and struggles—from every day since I’d found this valley—went up in smoke thanks to his incredible arms around me.
I’d been hugged before, but I’d never felt how I did in Kas’s arms.
I felt...treasured.
Wanted.
Worshiped.
I’d hugged him back, binding my arms around his waist, the chain belt he wore digging in my skin.
We’d stood like that forever.
Both of us swaying with tiredness.
I wanted to go to bed together. To sleep in his arms and wake up to his kisses. We needed to talk. Tonight felt different. It felt as if he was finally ready to face what he was dealing with, and I didn’t want to let that gift go.