I go through the rest of the house, finding it comforting and unsettling at the same time to see it looking so normal. The rug in the foyer is gone, probably covered in blood, and I’m missing a few pieces of furniture and decor from the living room. The framed photos that fell have been replaced with the original photographs. There’s a dent in the drywall from when I hit one of the photos, and that moment flashes before me.
Shaking my head, I force it away. Part of me knows I need to deal. I need to accept. I can’t shove memories away like I did with being sold like cattle by the people I thought were my parents. Nearly twenty years later and I’m still far from over it.
The stairs creak as Eliza comes down them.
“Thanks for cleaning,” I tell her. “You almost wouldn’t know what happened.”
“I’m so sorry, Callie.” She stops at the bottom of the stairs, pretty eyes filling with tears. “You’ve been through so much, and you’re so young.” She tips her head back and quickly wipes away a tear. “I really thought I’d be able to corrupt him.”
“Honestly, I kinda did too,” I tell her, voice coming out all shaky.
She comes over and gives me a hug, holding me tight against her slender body for a good ten seconds before letting me go. “You’ve been through a lot, but you’re the toughest person I’ve ever met. He knew it too and totally jumped on Kristy’s bandwagon about you being the savior.”
The bit of sass almost makes me smile. “Next thing you know, you’re going to be the leader of the Callie’s the Savior fan club.”
“Stranger things have happened.” She straightens a crooked photo on the wall. “Do you need me to do anything before we do the burial?”
“I don’t think so, but thanks.” The lump is back in my throat. In only an hour, my friends will be here to say goodbye to Julian with me.
“Food,” Eliza says. “Humans in movies are always eating and drinking while they sit around talking about lost loved ones.”
“What would anyone else have to say about him?” I don’t mean to come across so dejected, but it’s true. “He wasn’t here very much, and when he was, all he did was warn us about demons and danger.”
“You’re right. To me, it shows how much he cared. And that’s something we could talk about. He really cared about you, Callie.”
She’s trying to make me feel better, but all it does is make the guilt sink into me like a thousand tiny blades. “He cared so much he died for me, and I never wanted that. My life is a train wreck, but I’m the one driving the train. It should have been me.”
“You feel that way now,” she says gently. “And I’m not going to try to convince you otherwise. You’ll see in time what we all see.”
“What is that?”
“We need you. The fucking world needs you.” She inhales sharply and wipes away more tears, shaking her head and putting on her usual smirk. “So, what do you want for dinner?”
“Pizza,” I say after a moment.
Her eyes narrow. “That’s it?”
“Yeah. With extra cheese.”
“Okay. I will find a place to order from.”
“Thanks.”
“Of course. You really do need me.” She flips her blonde hair back. “And I took the room at the end of the hall. Farthest from you so it’ll be easier to block out the sounds of you two fucking, which isn’t easy to do when you have vampire hearing.”
Usually, just the thought of fucking Lucas sends some sort of jolt through me, but I feel nothing. “Did you bring your pigs?”
“I did, and they’re in my room for now. No one uses the attic, and there is plenty of floor space for them up there.”
“You want to take the entire attic and turn it into a guinea pig room?”
“Eventually,” she replies like that isn’t crazy at all.
I just nod, not able to come up with anything to counter that right now. “The rest of the world,” I start. “The Horsemen.” My question comes out all disjointed.
“There was an outbreak of the flu at a school in the UK. Nearly every student got it, but from what I saw, only a few are critical. We can’t necessarily say it was Pestilence. I’d assume he’d have a higher death rate.”
“Yeah. I would too.”
“Why don’t you go change or lie down? I’ll handle everything.”
“Okay.” I sniffle and go upstairs, getting into my bed as soon as I’m in my room. Binx jumps up with me, rubbing his head against my face. He doesn’t like that I’m sad, and he wishes he could take my pain way. “Thanks, buddy,” I whisper and tuck him under my arm. Freya and Pandora join us, and having my familiars around me brings me comfort and a small sense of peace.