“I don’t need help,” I hissed. “How many times do I have to tell you all that I’m fine? And I’d be a hell of a lot better if you would stop acting like I’m about to fall to pieces any second. It’s too fucking much.”
The others went quiet, and I realized that I had stepped over a line. I cursed myself. Why did I keep doing this? These were my friends, I should be grateful that they were worried about me, that they cared, instead of being resentful. I was nothing but a miserable asshole. “Guys, I—” I started to apologize, but Saul cut me off.
“They’re ready for us,” he said, and I realized that the girls had left the stage while I was making an ass of myself. “Let’s go.”
Throughout sound check, the guys barely looked at me, and I couldn’t blame them. How long were they going to put up with me? I had a sneaking suspicion their patience had almost run its course.
8
Ella
I couldn’t believe it, but Demi’s advice seemed to be working. As I quickly dressed in my borrowed outfit and applied my makeup, I imagined that I was stepping into an entirely new personality.
Sexeralla wasn’t shy; she wasn’t self-conscious about her body or worried about what people thought of her. She was confident, flirtatious, and sexy. All of the things quiet, unassuming Ella was not.
Sound check passed in a blur, and before I knew it, it was showtime. I took a deep breath to steel myself. You’re not Ella tonight, I told myself. Tonight, you’re more.
“Come on,” Susanna hissed behind me, giving my shoulder a hard shove. “Get moving.”
It was by far the biggest crowd we’d ever performed in front of. Even with the bright stage lights in my eyes, blocking out the majority of the audience, I could see that the venue was packed in latex and leather-clad concertgoers. I remembered the last gig we’d had, a picnic hosted by my church, and nearly giggled out loud at the juxtaposition between the two crowds. But there wasn’t time to be nervous. I tossed my hair over my shoulder, enjoying the weight of the dark wig, and leaned in to the mic.
“Thanks, y’all, for coming out tonight,” I began. “We’re the Sinful Sisters, and we’re so excited to be here at the Ball tonight.”
With that, I lost myself in the music, barely aware of the time passing. There was no room for nerves, for self-consciousness, there was only the stage, and the lights, and the mic in front of me. When the set came to an end, I was drenched in sweat, beaming. Even Susanna looked pleased, instead of her usual air of studied indifference.
“That was awesome,” I squealed backstage. “That was the best we’ve ever performed.”
“What is up with you?” Susanna asked, staring.
“What do you mean?”
“You seem different,” Liz piped in.
“Oh,” I said. Was it really that noticeable? I was going to have to be Sexerella more often.
“Great set,” a voice behind me said, saving me from having to answer Susanna and Liz. I turned, and felt my jaw drop.
Standing in front of me were the two most muscular men I had ever seen in my life. It took me a moment to realize they were members of the Prince Charmings: Lester and Chris. They were both about my age, maybe a little older, dressed in latex, obviously. One of them—Lester—had a shaved head, the dark skin of his scalp shining under the lights. Chris’s hair was thick, wavy, and dark blond. Lester wore only a kind of harness crossed over his broad chest, and I had to wrench my gaze away from his miles of abs, focusing instead on his high cheekbones and dark, sparkling eyes. My mouth felt suddenly dry.
“I’m Lester,” he said, smiling knowingly. “This is Chris.”
“Hi,” Chris said, extending his hand to shake. “Nice to meet you.”
“Ella,” I squeaked, momentarily forgetting my new, confident persona. “This is Susanna and her sister, Liz.”
“Nice to meet you girls,” Chris said politely, then turned gaze back on me. “So this is your first time at the Ball?”
I nodded. “We just got to town yesterday.” Briefly, I explained the situation with the van, and how we’d come to land this last-minute gig.
“Well, thank goodness for faulty engines,” Lester said. “It’s not every day such a beautiful woman opens for us.”
I could feel Susanna and Liz staring daggers at me, but I didn’t care. I was pretty sure Lester and Chris were flirting with me, and I intended to enjoy it. I tucked a strand of dark hair behind my ear, enjoying the way their eyes followed the movement as I let my hand trail down my neck, toward my breasts. I smiled shyly at them. “Can I admit something?” I asked. I was surprised by how easy it was to flirt back; flirting had never been something that came naturally to me. Yet another reason to keep Sexerella around.