"She’s," he says, and he puts his foot on the last step. He leans in, putting his hand on the railing. I watch him as he thinks about how to ask the question I know is coming. “She’s something, a little bit of a firecracker,” he says with a chuckle. “She does have one heck of a smile,” he says, and my heart stops in my chest. “And a smirk I think I’ve seen before." I don’t say anything, well, for one, I can’t, even if I wanted to. "Let me ask you." His foot on the step is starting to shake now. “How old is she?"
I swallow down the tremors. “Five." I don’t think I can say anything more without my voice cracking. I put my hands down to my sides. Looking at Reed, I see all of this going through his head.
"When is her birthday?" he asks, and I just look at him.
"March the first,” I say, and he just stares at me.
"Is she mine?" he asks the loaded question. He asks the question that will change all of our lives. "Am I her father?"
I put my hand to my stomach. “If you are asking me if you share the same DNA,” I say. “The answer is yes." His mouth now opens. “But if you are asking me if you are her father, the answer is no,” I spit out, anger now coming through me, and apparently, I’m not the only one with anger in me.
"How could you?" he hisses out at me.
"How could I?" I ask, shocked, taking a step down now. “How could I? You made your stance pretty well-known when you couldn’t so much as answer a fucking message,” I say with hurt in my voice, but I don’t even care anymore. I don’t care because just like six years ago, the hurt is still there. The pain that I meant nothing to him destroyed me, but I put it away, blocked it out, but now, here in front of me, I can’t deny it. The tears come one after another. “How you read the message and then just fucking deleted me." I don’t stop. “Like I was nothing."
"It wasn’t like that,” he says.
"You can spin it whatever way you want to spin it, Reed,” I say. “Bottom line, I reached out to tell you I was pregnant with our child. To tell you that I was going to keep our child and"—I shake my head—“you. Did. Nothing." I swallow now. “You read my message,” I say. “I saw that you read it, and I waited. I waited all night for you to answer me, and you know what I got?” I say. “Sitting alone in a room with our child growing inside me.” I stand straight. “I got nothing.” I shake my head. “So you made your position known all those years ago.” I shake my head and turn to walk up the stairs. “This talk is over.”
“That is where you are wrong, Hazel,” he says, and I can hear his voice is shaking. “This is just the beginning." I close my eyes as I walk into the house, and my legs give out.
Chapter 15
Reed
The sound of the door closing has my heart breaking in my chest. The sound of her voice replays over and over. "If you are asking me if you share the same DNA, the answer is yes."
I sit on the step now, knowing that even if I tried to walk home, my legs would give out along the way. I hang my head. “A daughter." The tears come now as I remember her smile today. I missed it all because I was too busy trying to run.
The walk to my house is torture. The farther I get from them, the more my chest tightens. "Bottom line, I reached out to tell you that I was pregnant with our child. To tell you that I was going to keep our child and …" I remember reading the message, remember how it fucked up my whole night. Remember yearning for home for the first time, and I also knew that if I gave in to it, I would be sucked back, and I’d be miserable my whole life.
Unlocking the front door of my house, I don’t turn on a single light. Instead, I sit in the darkness as her words come back to kick me. "Sitting alone in a room with our child growing inside me." I want to know everything. I close my eyes, but nothing helps fight off the guilt. Not one thing I have done or said will make up for missing five years.
The sun comes up, and I know I have to talk to her. I know that things need to be said, so I walk back over to the house. Walking up the three steps, I knock softly. I didn’t even check what time it is. I don’t have time before the door opens just a bit. Her little eyes see me, and they light up. "Momma," she says over her shoulder, opening the door. “It’s Uncle Reed." Hazel comes out of the kitchen with her hair tied up on top of her head, wearing shorts and a T-shirt. "Momma is making pancakes,” she says.