“She doesn’t have to know.”
And she probably wouldn’t care if she found out, which is why it’s pretty pathetic that I’m saying no. “Thanks, but I’m saving myself.”
Pen spits her wine all over my chest. “Oh god. I’m so sorry.” She grabs her cocktail napkin and starts dabbing.
“It’s fine. Don’t worry.” I gently remove her hand. “It’ll dry.”
“It’s just that—I can’t believe you’re…you know.” She holds up her two fingers to form a V.
Wait. I have the perfect solution to one of my problems. I can’t believe I’ve never thought of this before. It probably never occurred to me because I’ve lived my life as a serial introvert. Talking to strangers isn’t something I’ve ever done until recently. “What exactly do you see when you look at me, Pen?”
She frowns. “Are you fishing for a compliment?”
“No. I’m serious. You just said you can’t believe I’ve never been with a woman. Why? What is it about me that made you say that?”
“Are you being serious right now?”
“Yeah. I’m considering writing a paper on physical perception for one of my classes.” True.
“All right. For starters, you’re a big guy. And you clearly take care of yourself. I’m mean, look at those arms.”
“So you see a rope of muscle right here.” I point to a spot on my forearm.
“Yes.” She gives me a look like I’m crazy.
“And would you say it’s large?”
“Yes—where’s this going?”
“Hold on.” I hop from the barstool and lift my shirt. “Do you see a six-pack?”
“Uh-huh…” Now her eyes light up. “A really spectacular one.”
I lower my shirt. “So you wouldn’t look at a guy like me and think I was a wimpy, introverted computer nerd who needs his ass kicked.”
“I invited you home. What do you think?”
I think River wasn’t lying to me, and I went from shock and flew straight into denial. I didn’t want to face the truth because the truth is impossible.
“Hey, are you all right?” Pen asks.
“Oh. Yeah. I’m good. Thank you for…” That’s when I see her. Manda. My hackles rise, and I’m flooded with anger. “I gotta go, Pen. Nice meeting you.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
I follow Manda and the two people who are with her. I think one is Tasha. The other I don’t recognize. The three leave the restaurant and stagger down the grass-lined sidewalk, deeper into the resort. They’re drunk. They’re giggling. I can’t believe my luck.
It’s really her. And bonus. One of the other girls who helped murder Joy is here, too.
I follow them, keeping my distance, but I’m still close enough to hear them having the time of their lives.
I bet they’re celebrating their victory. Got away with murder.
I know I told myself I only came to deliver a message, but that was before my conversation with Pen. All that garbage I had in my head about being changed maybe isn’t garbage after all.
My phone vibrates in my pocket. It’s Kyle. But there’s not a chance in hell I’m talking to him now. He wants money. I want revenge. I want Manda to drop dead alongside Tasha. I want my face to be the last thing they see. Just like Blake.
A painful jabbing sensation hits me in the chest, but for the second time, I power through it. I don’t care how much it hurts or why. I’ve dreamed of this moment. I’ll kill her with my bare hands if I have to.
“Manda!” I call out.
She stops, and so do her friends.
“Who’s that?” one asks.
“I don’t know,” Manda replies.
It’s dark, and they can’t see my face, so I play it to my advantage. “Why didn’t you call and tell me you were in town?” I keep walking toward them.
“Tim?” Manda calls out. “Is that you?”
I think Tim was one of Conner’s friends. Conner was the dick who used to mess with me—or have his friends do it. To this day, I still can’t eat sandwiches.
I keep walking until I’m just a few feet away. “No. Not Tim.”
She frowns, trying to make out my face.
“I’m Joy’s little brother. Huff. Remember me?”
“Let’s go.”
“You going to walk away, Manda?” I snarl.
“Yep. I’ve got nothing to say to you or your scummy family.”
My scummy family? “I want to know how you live with yourself, Manda. How do you kill an innocent person like Joy and keep looking at that ugly fucking face of yours in the mirror?”
She stops and turns with a drunken sway. She marches up and spits in my face. “Like your stupid mother, Joy was a useless, trashy cunt. I piss on her grave every chance I get.” Manda laughs and marches away.
Me? I’m beyond furious. I can’t see straight. My heart is screaming. Die, you fucking bitch. Die.
Manda trips and falls, going headfirst onto the walkway. I don’t know if it’s a coincidence or if her life is really about to end because I want it so badly.