“You know nothing about me!” I shout, unable to hear another word out of his mouth. “The other side? I am the other side! I lived in a two bedroom piece-of-shit trailer that more times than not didn’t have any working electric or water!” I throw my hands up in frustration. My hand hits my wine glass and it topples to the ground, shattering into pieces as it hits the hardwood floor. I flinch but leave it alone. I’ll deal with it later.
Lowering my voice several octaves, I admit, “I was embarrassed to tell you where I lived. I didn’t want you to know I was trailer trash.”
“But you knew I wasn’t rich,” Jase says. “I told you my story.”
“I know, but you also told me you hated your father for lying, so I was afraid to tell you the truth.”
“So instead you just continued to lie?”
“No.” I shake my head. “I never lied. I omitted the truth.” Jase opens his mouth to argue, but I put up my hand to stop him. “I know that’s still lying, but I’m just pointing out that I never actually gave you my age or where I lived or where I went to school. You assumed it, and I allowed you to. I knew it was wrong, and I was going to tell you the truth. But the night I came over to, I saw Amaya in your bed, naked, and I ran away.”
Jase takes one last step toward me, bridging the gap between us. Lifting my chin with his thumb, he forces me to look him in the eyes. “I never slept with Amaya.” He doesn’t blink or speak for a long moment, giving me time to absorb what he’s saying. “She came over drunk and high and threw up all over me before she passed out. I got her out of her soiled clothes and laid her in my bed so I could get out of my filthy clothes and shower. Once I got out, I dressed her in one of my shirts and let her sleep it off.”
Oh my God. Oh. My. God. All these years I assumed he slept with her, assumed he cheated on me. That he wanted her and not me. I close my eyes, embarrassed over how stupid I was.
“Celeste,” he murmurs, and I open my eyes. “I didn’t sleep with her,” he repeats. “You were all I wanted.”
I nod slowly. He wanted me and I left. Tears burn my lids. All these years wasted because I assumed. I should’ve talked to him, but I didn’t. His words from earlier fill my head.
“You saw what you wanted to see so you could leave without feeling guilty.”
Maybe he’s right. Maybe I saw what I wanted to see so I could take the coward’s way out and leave. I could’ve walked in and yelled at him. I could’ve asked questions, demanded an explanation. But instead I got on the first flight out and left. I was so terrified that he would tell me he couldn’t go to New York, or worse, that he didn’t want me to stay. I was so scared he would break things off, I ended what was going on between us on my terms.
“I think you’re right,” I whisper, and Jase gives me a quizzical look. “I think I saw what I wanted to see so I wouldn’t have to put my heart on the line.”
“What do you mean?”
“That night I was coming over to tell you about New York. I was going to ask you to go with me.” A huge lump fills my throat.
“You were going to ask me to go?” Jase’s eyes lock with mine.
“Or…” I swallow thickly. “I was going to tell you that I wasn’t going to go.” The tears burning behind my lids, spill over and slide down my cheeks.
“Dimples.” My nickname leaves Jase’s mouth like a prayer. “I never would’ve let you go.” He brings his hand up to the side of my cheek and my face tilts slightly into it, my eyes closing, as I lose myself in his touch and in his words. I don’t know if he means he wouldn’t have let me go to New York, or if he wouldn’t have let me go, but either way, his words are my breaking point.
With my own hand, I cover Jase’s—the one still holding my face—and lean in to kiss him. Our lips touch, softly at first. I’m scared he’s going to push me away. But when I feel his tongue run along the fleshy part of my lip, my confidence soars and I throw myself completely into the kiss.
Jase removes our hands from my face and pushes me back against the wall. Only breaking our kiss long enough for our shirts to come off, we strip out of our clothes as if they’re on fire, until we’re both completely naked. Then picking me up, Jase walks us through my condo, our kiss not once faltering. My fingers tug on his hair, not wanting our kiss to ever end. I know when we’ve made it to my room because Jase drops me onto my mattress. His lips remain seared to mine as he crawls up my body. Gathering my hair, he fists my locks tightly, tilting my chin up. He kisses me long and hard, with reverence, before tilting my head to the side so he can move downward. His soft yet masculine lips rain kisses down my neck.