"You're fidgety," Alan said, passing her the breadbasket that the waiter just delivered. "Is anything wrong?"
She shook her head as she looked around the well-appointed interior of The Roaring Fork, an upscale restaurant in the Stephen F. Austin Intercontinental Hotel. "When you called this morning to suggest dinner, I was expecting a burger. Maybe Tex-Mex. I'm a mess." Her suit was fine, but she'd gone to the gym at five, and then had hurried to meet Alan at the Starbucks on Sixth and Congress without fixing her make-up and with her hair pulled back into a messy ponytail.
"You look beautiful," he said. "And I thought we should celebrate."
"Oh? What are we celebrating?" Her eyes widened. "Did the dean talk to you about tenure?"
He laughed. "Not yet. No, it's been four months since your mother introduced us."
"Oh." She sat back. "Has it really?" Strange that it didn't seem that long. They were close in so many ways, and yet there was a formality between them that felt a little bit like they were living in a Jane Austen novel. She'd known Nolan much less time, and yet with him she felt like--well, like herself.
A waiter arrived with a dozen oysters on the half-shell and a bottle of champagne. She watched him pop the cork, then pour, and all the while prickly fingers of dread crept up the back of her neck.
"Alan..." She trailed off, not sure what to say. Hell, not sure what he intended to say.
"I wanted this to be special," he said, reaching into his jacket pocket.
"Alan, wait. We--"
He held up a hand to silence her. "Please. This isn't what you think."
Her shoulders sagged with relief, but then tensed again when he put a ring box in front of her. She looked up, meeting his eyes, completely confused.
"It's not an engagement ring. I know you--we're--not ready for that."
Oh, God.
"But please, open it."
She couldn't force her hands to move. "Shouldn't we talk--"
He picked up the box, then flipped the lid open, revealing a simple silver band with small diamonds around an ornate heart. "It's a promise ring," he said, looking so pleased with himself it broke her heart. "I texted a picture to your mother. She said she was certain the style would suit you."
"It's very pretty," she agreed, "but--"
"I want this to represent our promise to each other to move forward with this relationship. We've never talked about being exclusive before, but I want that, Shelby. I want only you."
He took the ring out of the box and held it out to her. Time slowed, and when she saw his forehead crease, she realized she was slowly shaking her head and holding her hands tight in her lap.
"Shelby?"
"Alan." She had to take a sip of water and swallow in order to continue. "Alan, I'm so sorry. I--I can't accept this."
He blinked, then sat back, the ring still in his hand. "I see. Is it too soon?"
"Yes, I mean, no." She sucked in a breath. "I mean I've met someone else and ... oh, God, Alan, I wanted to talk to you about this tonight. I never dreamed it would be like this, though."
"So you don't want to be exclusive," he said. "That's fair. It's only been a few months, and I'd never want you to commit without being certain, and if process of elimination--"
"Alan, no." She reached out and closed her hand over his. "You're a great guy--you really are. And before I thought--" She cut herself off with a shake of her head. "It doesn't matter. The point is, I don't know if this guy will end up being the one for me. But I do know that seeing him has made me think more about myself and what I want. And what I don't want."
"Me," he said.
"I'm sorry." Her instinct was to say more. To ramble and try to smooth. To try to make it all better. But that wasn't in her power, especially not since she was the one doing the hurting. And so she simply shut up and let him deal with the reality she'd thrust upon him.
He took a sip of water, then rearranged the salt and pepper shakers. "I'm sorry, too," he finally said. "But maybe it's good I made this misstep. Who knows how long we would have gone on pretending?"
She winced a little, because he was right. She'd intended to tell him tonight--but in all honesty, they should have had this talk days ago.