Lily’s head burst with pain and her breath started catching with an oncoming panic attack.
Lily managed to get to her feet, instinct driving her as whimpers tore through her throat. Her mind felt consumed by pain. Flinging open the basement door, Lily ran outside barefoot and down the path toward the factory.
It was the end of the day and the parking lot was emptying of cars as Lily flew down the path, half-blinded by the pain.
She managed to spot Shade and Rider standing by the door, both of them staring at her in shocked surprise, and Lily went right to Shade as he started to move to her. He held out his arms and Lily threw herself into them, clutching him tightly and shaking. She tried to burrow into him as tightly as she could, desperate for the pain to go away.
“What’s wrong?” He held her to him tightly, giving her the security she needed.
“I don’t know.” Lily cried, needing to be closer to his warmth.
“Couldn’t you get hold of Beth?” he asked.
“What? I didn’t try,” she said, trembling harder.
“You didn’t try to call Beth? You came to me first?” Shade’s hand smoothed her tumbled hair away from her face.
Lily nodded her head against his shoulder, whimpering. “My head hurts,” she moaned.
Shade lifted her up into his arms, handing Rider a clipboard. He then carried her back to the house, closing the door she had left open in her terror. In the bedroom, he sat down with her on the bed. Lily curled into the safety of his arms, laying her head on his shoulder.
“I think I’m losing my mind,” Lily confessed.
“No, you’re not.” Shade’s hand rubbed the back of her neck, easing the tension from her shoulders. “Lily, your attacks are coming less, but they’re becoming stronger. I think your mind is trying to tell you that you’re strong enough to remember.”
Lily jerked upright, her hands going to the sides of her head.
Shade’s hands went to her wrists. “Look at me, Lily.” Her violet eyes lifted to his. “Look at me,” Shade repeated his words.
She stared at him mutely, trying to tear her eyes away from his but unable to do so. Giving in, she sank into his blue gaze, really seeing him for the first time: a man who wasn’t afraid of anything—who was strong, skilled and patient.
“What’s in here can’t hurt you anymore.” Shade’s finger tapped the side of her head. “The world around you,” his hand circled the air around her body, “I’ve got that.” His hands went back to her hands, holding them in his. “No one will ever hurt you again.”
Lily heard the truth in his voice and saw it in his eyes.
She had once played a game in school where the teachers had lined the students up into two lines, one facing forward while the other line stood backward. The teacher had told them to fall backwards and trust the person behind them to catch them. She had excused herself to go to the office, getting out of the exercise because she had known that she didn’t trust anyone that blindly, which was what Shade was asking of her now.
To fall, knowing that he would catch her. Even with Beth, she had never accomplished that.
Chapter 22
Lily was putting the dishes in the dishwasher when Beth and Winter came in the kitchen after dinner. The whole house was a hub of activity as they prepared for the Halloween party.
The week had gone by fast. The members were filled with anticipation. Even Beth had the night off from caring for Mrs. Langley. Lily had dreaded tonight, though.
“I didn’t think Holly would ever get there.” Beth carried two bags in that she laid down.
Lily dried her hands, coming to her sister’s side. “What did you decide to be?”
“A hippie.” She lifted her outfit with the bright fuchsia shirt and yellow shorts out of the garment bag. Lily admired the colorful outfit, thinking it suited Beth’s sunny disposition.
Winter had already told her that she was going to be Little Red Riding Hood. As a matter of fact, all of the women had shared which costume each was planning on wearing. Lily could tell they were planning on having fun that night.
“I picked this up for you.” Beth raised the other garment bag and began unzipping it.
“I’m not going to the party,” Lily protested.
“We all talked about it and decided you’re not going to miss out on all the fun. The downstairs will have a smaller party with just a few of us and we all promised to behave. Then, later, we can go upstairs. Come on, Lily.”
Beth opened the garment bag, showing a gypsy outfit in bright purples and blues. It was very pretty. The top had long sleeves and the skirt would flow to her ankles.
Beth had managed to allay all her protests, so she saw no reason not to participate. “As long as you promise that, when you get bored, you’ll go back upstairs.”
“No problem.” Winter and Beth both laughed.
“Cool.” The women banded together, taking several snacks downstairs to set around the couch area.
“After I get showered and changed, I’ll bring the drinks down. You can tell Shade to put some music on the sound system while we get ready,” Beth told her.
“Okay.”
Winter and Beth went upstairs to get changed. The music had already been turned on upstairs, and from the amount of voices filtering down, the party had already begun. Shade and Rider were both still at the factory loading a truck.
Lily showered and dressed with the beginning of excitement curling in her stomach at the party and how they were willing to share some of their fun so she could participate.
She was brushing her hair out in the bedroom when Shade walked in.
She twirled her skirt around her legs, showing off her outfit. Her black hair was long and loose, and Beth had included several chunky necklaces for her to put on.
“You look great. What are you supposed to be?”
“A gypsy.”
“How is it any different than what you usually wear? You should have at least been adventuresome enough to raise the hemline above your ankles,” he said, taking a change of clothes out of a drawer.
Lily looked down at herself.
Shade walked to her, cupping her cheek. “You look gorgeous. Who got it for you?”
“Beth,” Lily said, twirling away.
Shade looked at her dress closely. “Remind me to thank her.”
“Why?”
Shade just shook his head, going into the bathroom. “Never mind. I won’t be long.”
Lily shrugged his words off, going into the other room. Winter, Beth and Evie were already there, sitting around and munching on snacks while Viper and Razer were talking and drinking beers. Lily didn’t let the beer bother her anymore. She had learned they could handle it, and the sight of the bottles no longer made her frightened.
Beth choked on a pretzel when she saw her before Winter and her both shared a glance.
“What’s wrong?” Lily asked.
“Nothing. You look great,” Beth assured her, jerking her wrist until she sat down next to her on the couch.
Viper went to the sound system, turning on the music. Someone had taken up the mats, leaving the area clear for dancing. Viper took Winter’s hand, moving her toward the dance floor.
“Knox and Diamond wanted to come tonight, but he has to be on duty,” Beth explained before Razer sat down next to her, pulling her on his lap.
Shade came in, taking a seat on the opposite side of the couch.
“How was Georgia this week?” Beth asked, putting her arm around Razer’s shoulder.
“Fine.” Lily didn’t mention what had happened Monday. Shade had talked to the woman that afternoon, and since then, she had given Lily a wide berth. Lily still felt guilty over Georgia’s brother, however at least she knew she wasn’t responsible for his not having a job at the factory.
“Lily, would you mind getting me a beer?” Shade requested.
Lily happily got up from the couch to go to the table the beer had been set up at and got him a beer. He
never asked her to do anything for him, so she didn’t mind doing so now.
When she handed it to him, and would have gone back to her side of the couch, Shade reached up and pulled her down on his lap. Lily tried to wiggle off, embarrassed. She had never sat on his lap before—unless she had been upset—and Beth was just a few inches away, staring at her in amusement.
“Sit still,” Shade ordered. Lily quit wiggling, sitting stiffly on his lap. Shade ignored her stiff posture, resuming his conversation with Razer about the production of one of the tools that was selling well.
“The only way to increase production is to go with another manufacturer,” Razer said.