“What happened to Bruce?” I asked. Bear was sitting at the table, surrounded by a huge spread of fruit and juice and pastries and omelets.
“He had to hit the slopes before it gets too late. He’s addicted to the powder, that guy,” he said.
“You two seem very close,” I said, sitting down and grabbing a croissant.
“We are,” he said. “He’s my closest confidant. Probably my only confidant, actually.”
“You don’t get too close to people?” I asked.
“Not usually,” he said. “It takes a lot of work.”
“That’s true,” I said. “It’s good that you have at least one friend, I think. I couldn’t live without my friend Marie.”
“Does she live in Portland?”
“Yes.”
“Tell me about her.”
“Hmm,” I said, between bites. “Marie is the exact opposite of me. She’s vivacious and vibrant. A real firecracker, some would say. She’s bold and extravagant and always says exactly what is on her mind. You’d love her.”
“Is that why you’re drawn to her? Because she’s not like you?”
“Yeah, I think so. She was a really good friend to me when we met in middle school. I needed a girl like her in my life, someone to help bring me out of my shell a little.”
“I understand,” he said.
“So where are we going today?” I asked.
“The old Catskill Mountain House site.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s beautiful. It used to be the site of a grand hotel that was frequented by New York’s elite in the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries. It has sweeping views of the Hudson Valley. I thought we’d do a little sight seeing.”
“Sounds good,” I nodded, staring across the table at him. He looked so good in the morning light, so healthy, so fresh, so vibrant. And he looked calm and quiet and kind. The storm that was brewing in those eyes last night was gone and he stared back at me with the gentleness of a puppy.
Now that the intoxicating effects of flesh-on-flesh had faded, I was left to deal with the churning in my heart. I could feel myself beginning to have feelings for him, real feelings, feelings that I had no clue how to deal with. This was all fun and games, sure, but it didn’t necessarily mean that this was love.
But, dammit, if he kept smiling at me like that, then these feelings were definitely going to be something I had to reckon with. And I had no idea if that was something that I was experiencing all by myself or if he felt it too.
For all I knew, I was just a good time to him.
But maybe that was okay, too. I was certainly having a good time myself and I didn’t want that to end anytime soon.
That’s why I kept my mouth shut and my questions to myself. I didn’t want to overwhelm him with probing questions that maybe neither one of us was ready for yet. Maybe it was best to let things unfold slowly. Maybe it was best not to force anything.
I made a silent vow to myself to just let go and enjoy myself and do my best not to overthink the situation, which I was usually prone to do.
“How far away is this hotel?” I asked.
“It’s not there anymore, actually. Burned to the ground in the sixties. But it’s not far. Only a few minutes by helicopter, actually.”
“Shut up!” I said, laughing. “You said no more helicopters.”
“No I didn’t!” he said. “Never say never, Chloe. You never know when a helicopter might come in handy!”
“What a life you lead,” I teased.
“It has its perks, that’s for sure,” he replied. “But no worries, darling, your chariot is waiting in the garage.”
“Now that sounds more like it!” I quipped.
His laughter was light and easy and it lit up his eyes, the darkness fading into a joyful song that seemed to radiate from him. This man had so many layers and I was finding it completely delightful peeling them back. There was the serious businessman, the loyal friend, the generous employer, the courageous adventurer, the smoldering lover and the demanding fuck machine, and now, here in front of me at the moment, the relaxed, happy, laid-back all-American man.
So far, I’d enjoyed seeing them all. We finished breakfast in silence and he led me to the back door of the house. Now that the sun was out, I could see that his property stretched far behind the main house that was located on the edge of the cliff we’d rappelled onto last night. A beautiful stream snaked behind Bruce’s tiny, modest cottage, and huge snow-covered, old growth trees towered over the entire property like a thousand snowy guards.
“This area reminds me of Oregon,” I said. “So many trees…”
“Yes, it’s a lot like the Pacific Northwest, only colder. We have many of the same trees you do—fir, birch, beech, pine, lots and lots of oak.”
“I love it, Bear,” I said, as we walked around his property. “It’s absolutely beautiful.”
“I’m glad you love it,” he said, reflections of the trees shining in his eyes. The snow crunched beneath our feet as we walked hand in hand back to the house. “You’re going to love the view of the Hudson Valley from where we’re going.”
“I can’t wait,” I said.
A black Jeep with huge tires that would rival the biggest dualie's in Eastern Oregon was parked in his garage.
“This thing is a beast,” I remarked.
“Isn’t it?” he said, his voice bursting with pride. “This thing is one of my most prized possessions.”
“It is?” I asked.
“Hell, yeah. I can go anywhere at all with it. It practically drives on water, that’s how amazing it is.”
“Please tell me we aren’t driving through water today,” I said.
“Come on, Chloe, where’s your sense of adventure?” he teased.
“I have one. I just don’t think it’s quite as wild as yours.”
“Well, baby steps, right?” he winked, as he slid behind the wheel. I jumped in beside him and he roared out of the garage like a rocket. I held on to the door handle, my heart racing as I remembered the fear I’d felt jumping out of the helicopter last night. I wasn’t sure my heart could handle too much more of Bear’s escapades.
After winding through his property, we were on a regular road within minutes. I reminded myself to breath and pried my fingers from around the door handle. He looked over, sensing my nervousness and laughed.
“Don’t worry, darling. Nothing too adventurous or dangerous today, I promise,” he said. “Relax. Enjoy yourself.”
“I’m definitely enjoying myself,” I smiled. “I’m working on the relaxing part.”
“Good girl,” he said, reaching over and patting my knee. Every single time he called me that it sent a shock through my system. I think he knew it, too. I think he knew exactly what he did to me. How could he not? I was such a hot mess of lust and desire, I could barely breathe around him.
After about ten minutes of driving down winding forested roads, Bear turned into a half-empty parking lot.
“There’s a bit of a hike, but it’s worth it,” he said, cutting off the engine.
We jumped out of the Jeep and he led me down a trail to the right of the lot. We passed some small shrubs and a bunch of large rocks, but it wasn’t really anything spectacular. But once we rounded a corner and exited the trail, it was like the entire world opened up before us. The sweeping view was absolutely stunning, the valley below us expanding for what seemed like forever.
“My goodness!” I exclaimed.
“I know! It’s incredible, isn’t it?” he said. “This is the site of the old hotel. It’s gone now, as I mentioned earlier, but the view will never be gone. I love coming here.”
“I can see why,” I said, drinking everything in. A few other people walked around also, but the cold and snow seemed to be a natural people repellant.
He grabbed my hand and led me to the edge of the cliff and we stared down below at the mesmerizing view. The cliffs and hills and trees were all lined with sn
ow, the landscape of the valley below rising and falling like the curves of a woman. A light fog hung heavy in the distance, casting an eerie feeling over the entire valley.
“The escarpment trail lines the entire valley,” he pointed to the edge of the mountains in the distance. “It’s probably my favorite hiking trail in the entire state of New York.”
“It’s beautiful, Bear,” I said, turning to him. “Thank you for bringing me here.”
“Let’s walk for a while,” he said, grabbing my hand in his and leading me to the trailhead. The view was spectacular and seemed to change with each step we took. His hand was warm in mine and my heart swelled with emotion at the beauty of the Earth.
“I never want to leave this place,” I whispered to him. Birds chirped over our heads and the sun shone through the trees every now and then as it peeked out from between the clouds. It was incredibly cold, but the warmth of his hand and the heat rolling off of him as I leaned into his side kept the shivers at bay.
“Well, it’s not going anywhere. You can come back here as often as you want.”
“It definitely reminds me of home,” I said.
“Do you miss it? Home?”