“No.” He gave a slight shake of his head. “I’m thanking you for caring enough to try. For seeing the truth about my aunt and uncle and trying to make my night better.”
She ran her thumb over the scar. “You always told us you were well cared for once you reached your teenage years. Why didn’t you tell us the truth?
Why didn’t you tell us you practically raised yourself? Or that no one gave you presents and cake?”
“What difference would it have made? It is the way it is.” He gave her one of his fake smiles. “What good would whining have done for me?”
“A cake at my house, for starters.”
He looked at the living room window, his brow furrowed. “I got one the next year. You ensured that, even though you pretended it was your mom’s idea. I think you might have even baked it yourself.”
He was right.
It had taken her three tries, and all of her Saturday, but she’d finally gotten it right. But she didn’t think he knew that she was the one who had made it.
She’d tried to hide that.
Apparently, she’d failed.
“How did you know?” she asked.
“Your writing on the cake.” He cocked his head. “And you put little hearts all over it.”
Stupid girl.
“Okay, I’ll admit it. It was me. Mom couldn’t believe the truth when I told her. She believed you when you said they made you a cake and cooked your favorite dinner. Everyone did.”
His hand drifted down her arm, caressing the skin so lightly she barely felt it. “Except you. You saw through the act.”
“I always did. Still can.” She forced a casual shrug, even though she wanted nothing more than to fling herself at him. “I can see you’re not happy now, either. I don’t know what you want out of life, but it isn’t what you currently have. I hope you can figure out what you really want sometime soon.”
“Once again, your perception amazes me.” He rubbed his jaw. “But what I want and what I can have are two completely different things.”
She sucked in a deep breath, because deep down, she couldn’t help but think he meant her. That he wanted her. “You can have anything you want in life, as long as you’re willing to risk it. Even love, if you wanted it.”
He swallowed hard and averted his eyes. “You know, I used to think my aunt and uncle loved me in their own way. That shows how little I know about love.”
She dug her nails into her palms. “You didn’t know what love was back then. You were only a kid.”
He laughed, but it wasn’t a real laugh. It was too hard. Too callous. “I still don’t know what it is. I don’t think I ever will. It’s just not a part of my life, and I like it that way, if we’re being honest.”
Anna took a breath and looked deep into his eyes. “Love is never giving up on someone, no matter how hard they make it to continue caring for them. Love is when you can’t stand being apart from the one person in life who matters the most, even when you’re angry with them. Love doesn’t go away simply because it won’t ever become anything more than a one-sided love.”
His face closed up on her, any trace of emotion disappearing within seconds. He stepped away from her and looked up at the sky. “Was love…was it climbing up a tree to bring birthday cookies and wine coolers to someone?”
She laughed uneasily and looked down at her feet. “Yes. You could say that. I certainly loved you.”
And I still do.
Probably always will.
“Don’t do that. Don’t hide your smile from me. It’s beautiful.” He lifted her chin with his finger, smiling down at her with a tenderness he probably didn’t even recognize. “It meant a lot to know someone out there loved me…back then.”
She couldn’t help but notice he used the past tense. Hadn’t he listened to what she just said? Love didn’t just give up. Did he really think she could stop caring about him?
Rising up on her tiptoes, she pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. “I still care. I’ve tried to stop, believe me. I’ve tried.”
His mask cracked, and he looked at her as if she were his salvation and his curse combined. “Anna…”
She shook her head and pressed her lips tightly together. “Don’t say a word. I just wanted you to know that, no matter where you are, or what you’re doing with your life…someone out there cares.”
Before he could say anything in return, she turned on her heel and left him in the dwindling daylight. Just the way he liked to be. Alone.
Chapter Eight