I take a moment to fasten my pants while I try to compose myself. I’m not quite sure what just happened. If someone had told me Ashley accidentally flashing her panties at me would be so distracting, I would have laughed at them. And if they’d told me her teasing me would lead to what just happened, I would have been hysterical with laughter. And yet here I was, in a world where both of those things just happened.
I turn around ready to say something, what I don’t know, but something to Ashley. I’m torn between saying it can never happen again and asking her if she’s ready to go again right now. I’m saved from having to decide between the two sentiments when I see Ashley has gone. She must have made a run for it when I went to take the call. It at least tells me where she’s at with this. She obviously thinks it was a mistake. I mean, she’s right.
It was a mistake.
But holy shit was it a mistake I enjoyed making!
I can’t help but smile to myself when I think of what it felt like to be inside of Ashley Winters. She drove me wild in a way I never would have anticipated. But the speed with which she left makes it obvious she clearly regrets it and most probably doesn’t want it to happen again.
I’m a little disappointed, a lot disappointed in fact, but it’s what we agreed to and I can’t put pressure on Ashley to keep on having sex with me if it’s not what she wants. I’ll have to let it go.
I leave my office feeling strangely lost and go through to my bedroom where I get out of my work clothes and go to the bathroom. I shower and when I get out, I pull on a pair of clean boxers. I stand brushing my teeth looking into the mirror above the sink. I almost don’t recognize myself.
It’s not like I’m a typical Casanova type.
Okay, I used to be when I was younger and in college. That’s mostly what college is for, if anyone is being honest. Then I grew up and started working for my grandpa, and somewhere along the way, work took over from dating. In fact, work took over from pretty much everything. It became my soul focus, over shadowing every other aspect of my life.
Maybe that’s why this thing with Ashley feels so out of this world, so much more than just a quick fuck, because it’s the first time in years I’ve done something so unexpected and unplanned, just because I wanted to. I didn’t even use a fucking condom with her. I never do that!
Hell, I even missed a call because of it and didn’t care. I would be lying if I said I normally would have missed a call. Even in the middle of the night, I’d have taken it, and if I hadn’t been quick enough to get it, I would have called straight back instead of thinking the person would call me back during office hours if it were important.
It hit me now, with Ashley for the first time in as long as I could remember, I’d been fully immersed in the moment. I actually lost control and let my body take over. I don’t think I’ve ever done that with a woman before. Scratch that, I know I haven’t.
It’s so strange that a woman I found almost unattractive in the beginning is the same woman who has knocked down my walls and made me feel like this. Like I’m spinning and out of control, but in the most delicious way imaginable.
Of course, it’s typical that the first time I feel something like this, I know it can’t happen again. Ashley has made it obvious she doesn’t want it and besides, this is purely a business arrangement. I can’t afford to go mixing up business and pleasure and getting them all confused in my head.
It isn’t like I want a relationship with Ashley. Actually, I don’t want a relationship with anyone right now, but especially not with someone like Ashley who makes me feel guilty for existing. And that’s another good reason to not do it again. The last thing I need is Ashley getting attached to me and starting to want more than I can give her.
None of the rationalizing I’m doing in my head convinces me that I don’t want to fuck her again. I’d like nothing more than to go to her right now and take her all over again. I want to feel her lips around my cock, I want to plunge into her tight, wet little pussy and make her scream my name.
But I won’t.
I can’t.
Instead, I decide I do have to go to Ashley, but for a very different reason. We slipped up tonight, and we need to talk about that. I need to remind her of our rules then reiterate them and make it clear that anymore sex between us is well and truly off the table. It may be nothing for her, but I need a clear head.