From her?
With a sound of distress, Roksana whirled and struck her invisible opponent’s neck with the flat of her foot, followed by a hitch kick to the jaw, a series of stunning punches. Back to the start again, her sides heaving, muscles on the verge of turning to jelly. She tucked and rolled, springing up with her right arm ready to strike, bringing it down, her fist closed around an imaginary stake. She tried to picture Elias on the other side of the blow and her will to stand or breathe or think deserted her, dropping her heavily to the mat.
“No.”
She knelt there for several moments, staring at her exhausted reflection in the mirror, her labored inhales loud in the cavernous room. The girl looking back at her was a lot of things. She’d lived two lives, it seemed. But there had always been a common thread of stubbornness. A quick temper. Skepticism. She considered none of those things a fault. They kept a lot of bullshit at bay. On the more positive side, however, she’d always considered herself to be a loyal person to the bone. Once a loyal friend and now loyal to the slayer cause.
Faithfulness meant seeing things in black and white. Putting down her hard head and powering through. Always knowing the right direction to turn, the right cause to fight for. But now she stood in a valley between two mountains, unable to pick which one to climb. One represented Inessa and the slayerhood. Duty. The other was Elias and the unlikely but fulfilling friendships she’d formed with the vampires. Both of the mountains had their share of hazards.
Inessa’s mountain was harsh, unforgiving and she could never quite find her footing or a handhold. Oh, but reaching the top would be so glorious. The view would be breathtaking and she could finally find that elusive fulfilment she’d always pined for as a daughter. Even now, a cavity in her chest yawned wide, praying for that approval only a mother could provide.
Elias’s mountain…it was almost like she’d already reached the top. He stood there with her, angling her toward the best breezes, always remaining that safe presence at her back. But how long could she really stay on top of feel-good mountain? Elias was immortal. Being with him meant hard decisions. Disobeying her mother. Staying human or…not, unless she wanted to grow old while he remained the same forever. So while she might be on top of that breathtaking landform right now, eventually she might have to jump off and plunge into a bottomless ocean, forsaking Inessa’s mountain forever in the process.
Awareness tickled her spine. Before Roksana even opened her eyes, she knew she would find Elias framed in the entrance of the training room. And God, he was electric. He stood leaning against the doorjamb, eyes serious and rapt, head tipped forward, arms crossed. So still, yet swarming with magnetism. His jeans hugged his thighs, the soft cotton of his T-shirt practically clamoring to get as close as possible to his sinewy stomach and arms. Indecent and effortless and hers. Her mate. The man whose life was braided together with her own, impossible to unravel.
Did she want to? Had she ever really wanted to, even in the darkest hour?
She swallowed hard and dropped the eye contact they made in the mirror, rubbing at her overworked wrists. “I would invite you to spar, but you’ve always refused to fight me.”
“I fight with you, not against you.” He pushed off the doorframe and prowled toward where she knelt on the mat, a quivering seed of awareness germinating more and more in her belly with every step he took in her direction. “In light of what you said last night about wanting to feel my strength, though…maybe I’ll make a small exception.”
Roksana’s eyes flew to his in the mirror. “Really?”
“You need it.” Elias whipped off his shirt and threw it aside, leaving him in nothing but worn-in jeans and that maddening scent of pine. “Don’t you, baby?”
Dizzy at the sight of his S.W.A.T. Daddy body on display, she hummed an affirmative and rose to her feet, though unsteady at the turn of events. “You can call me baby in the bedroom, but if you call me that in combat, I will rattle your brain.”
His smile turned her nipples to hard, little buds and he didn’t pretend not to notice. “You sure it’s fighting you want?”
“Da! I’m not letting this opportunity pass.” She was already breathless, just being this close, witnessing the tight tics of his jaw, triceps, pecs. Vampire circled slayer. It was in that moment that Roksana realized she’d never enjoyed a single fight over the last three years, no matter how much she’d lied to herself. There had always been desperation involved. Fear of failing her mother. A feeling like she was in someone else’s reality, trying unsuccessfully to make herself fit.